I’m a 17 year old girl in my senior year of high school. I don’t do terribly in school, but i also don’t do great. I’m kind of mediocre at everything I do. I’m also kind of a pot head. I don’t get along great with my parents, we have really different views on everything. I have always had a good amount of friends, but recently started drifting from a lot of them. I have one best friend, and she is sort of my only friend at the moment. Don’t get me wrong, I love her like a sister, and she is a really good person, but even with her always around, I still always feel alone. I feel like i’m different than everyone else, and I can’t really connect with people. I just feel like high school is supposed to be this great big part of your life, and some of the most memorable years. I want to enjoy being young and be free and happy while I can, but i really hate high school. I consider myself a pretty girl, I’m in good shape, long blonde hair, kind smile. (not meaning any of that in a conceited way, I usually don’t think or talk highly of myself at all). But i’ve never had a boyfriend. All of my friends are always in and out of relationships. Going on dates, falling in love, being happy. I really want that. I just don’t know whats wrong with me. Guys only want to hook up with me, but never want to actually have a conversation with me. And its not just that boys will be boys, and all guys only want sex, because all of my other friends seem to have no problem finding guys that are genuinely interested in them. I don’t know, I just feel like I’m never really good enough. Im in the process of applying to colleges and stuff, which is exciting. I really want to get out of here and start somewhere new. I really hope that college will be my time. I just want to belong somewhere.
3 comments
Just wait, and a whole lot of opportunities will present themselves soon enough
Many people find that high school isn’t the best of times and may find that they flourish once they are out of school. Also there’s nothing wrong with you, you’ll see, there is so much out there for you, you have time, don’t you worry!
This reminds me very much of my own school life, only except I never had any real friends.
School is for learning, not some kind of social ladder that you have to climb. A mistake I made and leaving myself feeling bitter about even to this day. Long story short, I felt out if place, tried to fit in and impress people, didn’t work and was bullied up until I left.
That’s when I thought “fuck it” and gave myself time off. Come college I just couldn’t be bothered to put in that effort and just got on with things. Just by acting like myself I ended up talking to a lot of people, and by that I mean I was talking to pretty much the entire college. Pretty much everywhere I went people would greet me. I made close friends there and we still hang out after so many years. The time I spent there was perhaps the happiest of my life.
High school was a nest of vipers and leaving the place saw a great change for me.