
Here’s a poem I wrote months ago during a particularly dark time.
A Life Not Worth Living
I sit here in silence with no reason left to care.
A life not worth living … that is my life I swear.
I started a process, a journey, a little while ago.
I call it the difficult process of trying to let go.
You look at your life, all the experiences up to now,
and you wonder how you got through it all asking, “Really…how?”
You’ve reached out to family for love and support,
but instead of their help, you get a nasty retort.
They say to make lifestyle changes, your problems aren’t their fault.
They call you names and make hideous accusations and you think, “What is this assault?”
You’ve been there for them all the time, for what it didn’t matter,
but now you need their help this time but your idea of family is now shattered.
So you sit still in silence with no family to care.
A life not worth living is a life with no family there.
So you think, “I have friends. I’ll reach out to them instead.”
After all they say they love you and worry. Atleast that’s what they’ve said.
You contact them and try hard to make plans to get together,
but you soon realize that these friends are just those of fair weather.
They’re too busy, self-absorbed, with so many other things to do.
How quickly they forget all the times you’ve helped THEM when they needed you.
You realize at this time these friendships have to end.
In your loneliness and despair, you now know, you were always the better friend.
So you sit, still in silence, with no friends left to care.
A life not worth living is a life with no friends there.
Alone you sit remembering all the times you asked God to get you out of this.
“Pray to him.” “Have faith in him.”, that is what they’ve said. He’s supposed to help you out of this abyss.
But time and time he’s let you down, no faith in him you feel or have left.
For all your prayers have gone unanswered and all you feel now is bereft.
So you sit in silence pondering now, deeply below the surface, the meaning of your life, the why, and what exactly is the purpose?
But all that answers is the silence around you. No answers are you given. And with no answer found you ask , “What’s the sense of living?”
There you sit in silence with no purpose left to care.
For a life not worth living is a life with no purpose there.
So you tie the rope tightly, slipping the noose around your neck.
There’s only one thing left to do and that’s to step off the upper deck.
You do and there you hang in silence. No life left in you to care.
Your life was not worth living …… so now you are no longer there.
13 comments
Oh my God !
Beautiful beyond words ! So much truth, so much insight !
Your poem hypnotized me because I thought you had written my story.
My favorites were the first and last paragraphs. And very true what you wrote about “friends”.
Hugs.
Thanks Einsamkeit…. I never write poetry, in fact I don’t have a creative bone in my body really. The darkness I felt brought it out of me I guess. Glad you enjoyed it. I hope others do too and no one feels triggered by it.
What WOW are you serious I felt heart at this poem of yours your amazing I sympathised with every line especially the end part. I honestly had friends who were so busy to cool to hang with me. My family I gave my whole savings $$ along with my future to them. Now I need help they turn away all they care about is this fuckin house that’s where all money went why you ask because my dad passed when I was 17 and that’s how I was raised “Live for us not for yourself”
I know Sadlife… it’s a pretty common thread in most stories on here…. why should you take so much of the responsibility and consequences for your mom’s bad choices. At your age she should be encouraging you to have your own life. It’s disgusting the way she treats you…. there seems to be zero respect.
The reason why is because I have given up you saw many of my sp so you do understand where I’m coming from. A lot of people here have it far worse than me and god help them before me.
Beautiful Poem <3 I have no other words.
I do… I just wish you could get out of there…. it’s such a toxic environment for you and you probably wouldn’t have the anxiety as bad if you could just free yourself. I really feel for you.
Thanks Mavourneen… I only came up with this cause I was deep in darkness at the time. Poetry really is not my strong suit.
Omg I have to say something ! This is a masterpiece. I’m hypnotised.
Well thank you very much Forevertorn! Unfortunately it’s a one shot deal….. oh wait a minute I had written another one called The Voice. I can’t remember if I kept it or not. If I find it maybe I will post it as well. But that’s it just the two is all I got. Pretty sure anything else would probably sound like Dr Seuss! Hahahaha
I’m just hoping you find it.
This is amazing <3
Thanks Wanted.