jadedjewel
Well for me I have always felt a little like the odd man out at times my whole life… like on the outside looking in a lot throughout my life. I wasn’t bullied, had friends, a pretty good childhood really, but just have always felt “off” like I’m not like everyone else and don’t really belong here. It’s weird and hard to describe with words.
I would say since adolescence I have had suicidal ideation off and on usually brought on by some negative event in my life. I’ve had PLENTY of those.
I feel like I just don’t really matter to anyone really and I […]
Here’s a poem I wrote months ago during a particularly dark time.
A Life Not Worth Living
I sit here in silence with no reason left to care.
A life not worth living … that is my life I swear.
I started a process, a journey, a little while ago.
I call it the difficult process of trying to let go.
You look at your life, all the experiences up to now,
and you wonder how you got through it all asking, “Really…how?”
You’ve reached out to family for love and support,
but instead of […]
Ever wish you could give someone else control over your life? Let them make all your choices and decisions for you? I wish I could right now cause I just feel stuck and completely unmotivated…. like someone else needs to live my life for me cause I just can’t… part of me doesn’t want to and part of me just doesn’t have the energy…. I am so sick of feeling like this.
The Wellbutrin I’ve been on, I feel no different really and I know it’s early and may take time to work and so far the only side effect I seem to notice is ringing […]
So today I saw my new dr and for the first time admitted to a physician that I have been in a severe depression and need some extra help medication wise and want to see a therapist. Finally got those words out to someone else other than me and you people here. She asked a bit of what’s been going on but wasn’t too intrusive. I did not tell her anything about being in any way shape or form suicidal, figured I’d save that little nugget for the therapist. Just told her I have been severely depressed and think I may need some help with […]
I don’t know if Freud actually said this but:hahaha I loved it so thought I’d share. 🙂
I know it’s a brain chemical and hormone related factor involved but I just think it’s so bizarre how depression can severely take a toll on your sex drive lowering your libido to almost nothing. Why some experience it and not others too? Science is just so weird when it comes to stuff like that. It’s such an innate, natural thing we have for good reason, but gets all messed up once the brain goes haywire somehow.
So I have a physical coming up with my brand new dr and I plan on telling her I need some help with this horrible depression I have been in cause I can’t keep living like this and think I need some help. I am looking for advice on weeding out good from bad therapists…like what are some of the red flags to look out for? I have never gone for therapy or tried seeing anyone about my depression issues before or been on any psych meds other than citalopram. I have a logical head but want some seasoned advice from others and their experiences. Thanks!
I know some people are night owls, but that’s not what I am talking about. I am talking about how in my depression the daytime is exhausting…as in within a few hours of waking up I get so tired I HAVE to or want to go back to bed. The daytime just seems to zap me of all energy but come night time it’s different. There isn’t that major issue of trying to stay awake nearly as much, no struggling to keep my eyes open….and I notice my feelings of depression aren’t as heavy on my psyche. I wonder if it’s a brain chemistry or […]
It’s 2017 a new year… I ,in my head, had all these plans for change. I wanted to get out there, find a new job, get some new hobbies, change my thought processes, stop being lazy, stop sleeping all day, start taking better care physically and mentally of myself…
I know what I want to do, what I need to do but can’t seem to get motivated enough to put it all into action. I am usually so good at pulling myself out of these type moods, but I can’t seem to do it this time. I am finding it so hard to snap out of […]
hi guys,
New to posting here. I came across this site a few years ago looking up suicidal sayings. I’ve done a lot of lurking and reading of stories and even though I have read of much pain and suffering I have also laughed a lot at how some of you have put things. There are a lot of great senses of humor here and I bet it’s saved a lot of you and helped others stick around.
So me….well I am a bit of an enigma.I haven’t had it as bad as some of you, but I have been to the point of suicidal ideation many […]