- Is it wrong to want to be sexually abused? or would it count as a form of self-harm?
- Is it wrong for wanting to be in a relationship that’s more than 10-20 years older than you and being under-aged?
- Is it wrong for faking my age just to be with them?
- Is it wrong for wanting to be a wreck with abusing drugs for suicide?
- Is it wrong to have conversations in my head?
Supposedly, I’m sick for wanting these things. And this isn’t the first time that someone has told me this.
17 comments
🙂
Right and wrond can be subjective with almost any question. It sounds risky. The kind of adult that gets involved with a much younger person, a relationship that can put them in jail, usually has a hidden side that is less safe than advertised. What do you mean by “want to be sexually abused?” Are you referring to a specific kind of abusive/violent sexual activity, or to the fact that you are with an older person?
It’s not at all wrong to want to be with an older person. That story is as old as time, but societal conventions are strict around certain matters, and in most cases there are good reasons. The age of consent in my home state is 17, regardless of the age of majority, and I would be suspect of anyone in their 30’s/40’s who’s involved with someone so young, even if legal. They are very often predatory relationships.
in any case, thoughts are not wrong. Actions can be.
I’ll give this a try. Might be completely wrong in my answers tho, you know, everything is subjective and all that.
Is it wrong to want to be sexually abused? or would it count as a form of self-harm?
That’s difficult to answer, but i guess it depends on your definition of sexual abuse. Might count as self-harm.
Is it wrong for wanting to be in a relationship that’s more than 10-20 years older than you and being under-aged?
Not really, sometimes you just feel attracted to older (or younger) people. It’s rare that a relationships like that works in the long run tho (seen it, had it happen to). Different stages in life = different values, different goals = problems.
Is it wrong for faking my age just to be with them?
I’d say yup, because you’re putting them in a difficult spot (depending on your laws), and you’re starting a relationship (even if it ends up being just a friendship) based on a lie, which isn’t good.
Is it wrong for wanting to be a wreck with abusing drugs for suicide?
I guess so. I’d say anybody can do whatever the hell they want, but you’re still underage and if you change your mind eventually the damage from abuse of drugs isn’t easily fixed.
Is it wrong to have conversations in my head?
Depends. If you have other voices in your head other than yours you should consider looking for some kind of help, but if it’s you talking with yourself, i’d say most people do. Heck, i talk more to myself in my head than i ever do to other people around me, lol.
1. See #2.
2. You are under-age. You are incapable of making informed decisions.
3. See #2.
4. See #2.
5. Of course not.
thx Smith. If I might – I don’t perceive underage people as being incapable of making an informed decision(the Law says they are unequivocally, for ALL legal purposes). The teen years are transformational and intense. You haven’t yet had some of the really bad experiences some others here on this site have learned from. You may not choose as wisely on your own as a person who’s been hurt a few times already. Asking questions is a good idea.
Yes, you may.
Sorry kids, uncle SeeSmith is pretty hard-assed about age of consent for sex, drugs, suicide, and trombone lessons.
haha. noted.
1- there is a difference between: hurt and harm
2- Not necessarily wrong but definitely illegal in most states
3- Definitely wrong
4 and 5 – it is all subjective. At the end of the day, it is your body, your head and your life. Only you can decide what you want to do with it
I don’t think your feelings are wrong .. you can email me if you want ..
You’re alright, just being experimental. Just don’t harm anyone along the way, you know?
Really the question is not is it wrong to want things. The question is do you want these things for the wron reasons. Anything can be self harm. If you do it with the intent to harm yourself. Or if you percieve the action as being harmful to yourself. I don’t see most drugs as inherently bad. It sounds like you want to use sex and drugs as an escape as a way of coping with a reality you don’t like. Wanting to be abused though or wanting to abuse drugs to the point that it wrecks your life. That is self destructive and self harming. Because your intent is to harm yourself through those actions. You should be asking yourself what your motivation is, why you want abuse. Do you think you deserve to be abused? It seems like you think the things you want are wrong. You feel guilty about it, so instead of wanting those things as an escape to help you cope. You want them in an abusive way to punish yourself for wanting them in the first place.
If it’s wrong to have in head conversations, Jesus Flippin’ Banana Cream Sundae, lock me up. Mine never stop. I actually have several characters with whom I chat, every day. Cuckooooooo.
It isn’t wrong to want or think these things. It’s your body and you ought to do what you please with it. However, with that said, you should be honest and eventually tell the other person your real age, because if anything happens, you’re going to hurt the other person. That person is going to be in a heap of trouble for being with/doing things to a minor.
I meant to say *can* get into a lot of legal trouble (not necessarily will)
1. I agree with Foxglove7 about the subjective nature of right and wrong. However, your question about whether or not sexual abuse in this instance is considered self harm depends on the definition of sexual abuse, abuse and self harm.
Sexual abuse”: “The… coercion of any child to engage in, or assist any other person to engage in, any sexually explicit conduct or any simulation of such conduct for the purpose of producing any visual depiction of such conduct; or rape.”
Abuse: To “use (something) to a bad effect or for a bad purpose; treat (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.”
Self harm: “Is the act of deliberately harming the surface of your own body, such as cutting or burning yourself. It’s typically not meant as a suicide attempt. Rather, this type of self-injury is an unhealthy way to cope with emotional pain, intense anger and frustration.”
There are some critical questions you have to ask yourself: Do you feel coerced or pressured to engage in sexual activity with this man? Are your motivations to misuse sex to enact violence on yourself or for a bad purpose? Lastly, are you using this to cope with emotional pain?
2. In concern to your question about whether or not its wrong to want to be in a relationship with a much older man, I would refer to Mf’s point (to which I wholeheartedly agree with). However, I would encourage you to ask yourself what are your motivations behind wanting to be with a much older man. Does he represent a way out? A temporary escape? A solution to your problems?
3. Only you can answer question number three, but deception is not in my opinion a healthy way to start a relationship as it can create trust issues among other problems . If you do engage in sexual activity with this man there are severe legal repercussions for him as he can be charged with statutory rape (sex with a minor) once discovered.
4. Again right and wrong is subjective in many cases, however how detrimental will it be to your overall health maybe a question to consider? Is this a sustaining coping mechanism? Are there any healthy alternative coping mechanisms available to you? Are there any community resources you can access to help cope with the issues going on in your life?
5. I don’t believe so, but once again the question is down to each individuals perception of right and wrong. However, I do it too and I wouldn’t be surprised if others do it as well.
The questions I have asked throughout this post and by many others may help guide you the answers you seek. If I have offended you in any manner I apologize in advance as this was not my intent, and I hope you know the SP community is here for you ( well at least some of us are anyways ^^).
Oh my goodness! Sorry, I didn’t realize this post was so long. I just wanted to answer your questions thoroughly >.<
P.S. – Whether or not your sick for wanting these things is a question of perception among other things. Maybe a question to consider is -if you were in a different state of mind and/or emotional state ( maybe prior to this current state or a more happier state) would these "wants" still be appealing to you?