Every day is filled with intense emotional pain. I obsess about killing myself all day long from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed and all the times I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep.
But, I have three wonderful dogs. I will not leave them. Two are very old and won’t be with me much longer. Losing them will be devastating. But I would rather suffer through that than kill myself after they pass because I can’t stant the thought of my third, much younger dog going to a shelter only to be gassed to death in a chamber packed with 20 other dogs.
I spend most of my free time with them. They are the only reason I am alive. They are absolutely perfect in every way.
I can’t imagine living without them so I hope I can end my life when the last one passes.
I literally have no one else in my life and that’s intentional so I’m not blaming anyone.
If I killed myself Friday after work, no one would notice until Monday or possibly Tuesday. My co-workers would be pissed I didn’t show up and eventually call the police.
5 comments
I felt the same way about my dog too. He died a little over a year ago. He was 9, and had been my best friend since i was just 8 years old. He’s long gone now and I’m still here. Stuck.
Interesting username by the way. Is it a reference to Leonard? I adore him. My favourite songs are probably Suzanne and First We Take Manhattan. It goes without saying that i love Hallelujah. I also just recently stumbled upon his book “The book of longing”. His poems are hauntingly beautiful.
I had cat once and one person i hate most he threw somewhere, probably he’s died now, every morning he was in my bed and i was little careless to him, i regret. I should’ve taken more care. His name was ***** lol. I missed so much and it’s my fault. Every summer i was taking him with me in my village and we were hunting together on bugs lol.
It’s actually a character on Imposters a new TV Show on Bravo. I misspelled her first name. The character is played by Uma Thurman.
Well, close enough XD
Waitingformyalaska, ha! My Lennie is a character on a stupid vapid network and yout Leonard is an accomplished world reknown artist. I hate to admit it but I love watching that stupid mind numbing channel.