nothing I feel nothing i start to get sad or whatever then I make myself feel nothing. I’ve fallen back into my bad habits with men cause I just don’t give a shit anymore use me for sex I don’t care I’m just an empty body waiting for the day my organs give up on me or someone ends it for me. I can’t try to feel because when I do try I get over emotional and I can’t handle it. I’m tired. I wish there was an easy way out.
12 comments
Don’t let them use you, it’s keeping you in this loop.
I tried the not letting them use me but it always ended with them frustrated that I wouldn’t put out and I’ve come to the conclusion all any man wants is somewhere to put his d*ck. There’s no one out there who actually wants me, I’m to messed up so I’m just here to make others happy cause I don’t ever see me being happy again.
So let them be frustrated.
You’re worth more.
I completely agree with braiNsane. You’re an individual, with likes and dislikes, goals and dreams. You’re far more than just some sex object for men. Also, there are men out there that aren’t led around by their junk like a dog on a leash. In the meantime, if guys just want sex, say no. You’re fully in your right to say no.
I can say no I know that but I won’t because I also know that some of those men won’t let me say no, so it’s easier and less traumatic to be ok with it. Idk I’m in this funk that I can’t get out of. I had goals and dreams not so much as of late I just wanna get out of this life. Thanks for your kind words though.
Carry some form of protection then (i.e. pepper spray or a taser). That’ll definitely allow you to say no. Also, try to avoid those men. I know it’s easier said that done, but you can usually spot them. Maybe try to regain those goals and dreams. You had them, it’s not impossible to get them back. O and no problem.
Hahaha… “Led around by their junk like a dog on a leash”
This made me laugh
You’re pathetic
Thanks 🙂
Idk, wanted, it doesn’t sound like you don’t care, it sounds exactly like the opposite. Letting men use you for sex and you not caring? That doesn’t ring true, not in the sense that I think you’re being un-truthful, but in the sense that you’re using sex as a method of avoiding what is making you sad. I think you like using men for sex because it gives you some sense of control and that the unsavory characters of the men you choose to use you gives you some sort of emotional outlet to escape the thing that’s really bothering you, like you’re mastering the beast, so to speak.
The thing to ask yourself isn’t “why am I doing this”, it’s “what am I trying so hard to avoid?” Is it the sadness itself or what’s behind it or what you fear is ahead of you?
You don’t have to face the emotions alone. Find a therapist who specialized in coping mechanisms or CPT or some other approach that puts you in control.
You are so much more than this. I can totally see you putting this behind you and walking in the sun. I kinda want to apologize for being so in your business but then I don’t because it is social media, so feel free to delete this if you think it’s too, too.
I wouldn’t delete something just because I don’t agree with it. I appreciate others points of view on things it’s why I post. I know I have issues especially when it comes to men and allowing things to happen the way they do. I’ve considered therapy however it costs money, money I don’t have. I know a part of me still cares but the part that doesn’t is stronger. Thank you for your kind words and for putting it into a different perspective for me.
I always admired your candor, but felt you were unnecessarily harsh in your self analysis. As far as help, there is a lot of assistance on the web, from books, recovery groups, and the like. But there are also social service organizations that let you pay on a sliding scale. You’re worth the time and the money.
It saddens me to see young women adopting a perspective of men only looking to get laid or viewing women as objects. There are some truly wonderful, deeply human men out there that you may not be seeing. So whether you’re looking for a lost weekend of intense immersion or a meaningful, loving relationship you deserve to enter into that encounter without guilt or feeling less than in any way.
Be the marvelous woman you are and give no ear to the accusers. Oh, and use condoms. Just sayin’.