HEY!
^ wow, such a positive start, huh?
I only wish such positivity could be reflected by my shitty feels.
I have a great life, yet one that is plagued by inate and severe sadness. I have so much to be grateful for, and I am, yet I’m constantly reduced to suicidal thoughts of which resist to be tempered by optimism. I feel pretty hopeless. Like a lost cause, I suppose. My psychology is strange, I could swear that something is ‘wrong’ with me, yet I am free of any of the psychotic / delusional symptoms of any mental issues. I just have a deep running sadness found in myself. I’ve attempted suicide before, but every time have stopped in the last moment because… do I really want to embrace quietus just yet? Nah fam. I like life, enjoy it for the most part, I’m just seemingly depressed as fuck. I bring it onto myself, like a burden. I’m emotionally detatched yet deeply in touch. I want to feel happy again for the one I love, for my mother to see her daughter succeed etc. yet, my motivation is that of zero and my mind is constantly riddled with pathetic sadness.
Feel so fucking sad all the time
4 comments
There are countless mental issues that have no psychotic or delusional symptoms. Have you ever went to a therapist, or any other mental health professional to talk about this?
Yeah, I went to see a therapist once. She told me she thought I was ‘mildly’ depressed and gave me some non-medical techniques to tackle it. But tbh, none of them helped and I don’t feel as if it was addressed properly. I’m not too sure really. .-.
Maybe you should go see another one. Multiple attempts at suicide, and multiple thoughts about it, does definitely not equate to mildly depressed.
you’re feeling guilty for your melancholy despite having no control over it. depression manifests itself inside of us in different ways, and just because your symptoms don’t necessarily correspond with more commonly discussed symptoms, that doesn’t mean your mental health issues are any less valid. you don’t need an objectively bad life to be depressed… it can happen to the most privileged people out there. do not invalidate your feelings, hon.