I don’t know how to start. I don’t really know what’s the main problem. I know I have a shitty life and I am kind of used to it. It sucks that I have to dissapoint everyone I care for, but I am used to it. I could go on without giving it too much thought, but the problem is my girlfriend. (I’m 21, she is 19). She is a constant reminder that I am not good enough and that I don’t deserve her. She reminds me all the time of how I dated my ex (which was fat, ugly and stupid) and how she deserves more than my ex. (or at least that it’s not fair for her to receive the same treatment). She also makes fun of how I used to be in my old relationship and tells me I used to be a loser. I know it is true, but does she really need to say that? I’m starting to give up hope on her too and just say fuck it. I really love her. I really do. I just want to be accepted and cared for…
10 comments
If it were me, I’d dump her. She sounds abusive, and you don’t deserve to be negged and put down all the time. There are plenty others, and I know you say you love her, but she’s not treating you like someone who loves you should. Best of luck to you. You deserve better than her.
I’d like to add, it doesn’t matter if you’re fat, ugly, thin, or beautiful on the outside–if you’re ugly on the inside, then you’re still ugly. That’s basic, because the insides are what makes a relationship last or not. Sounds like she’s ugly on the inside, and probably even worse than the gf she’s commenting on all the time.
Thank you for replying.
The problem is I think that she has her own problems, her own trust issues. She’s a great person, she’s smart, funny and the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met. I don’t think that what she’s doing is that exaggerated. I would feel the same way in her shoes. She is just scared that I might miss my ex or that I won’t give her as much as she deserves. I’m just tired of not feeling enough. It’s not just her, it’s my family aswell.
Maybe I’ve misunderstood then…Have you communicated this to her? Maybe she doesn’t realize that you’re getting hurt. If she’s making comments off-hand, then Id tell her about how that makes you feel and the negative effect it’s having. Hopefully she’d understand. If she’s blatantly putting you down though, I’d dump her. There’s a line,,
and as long as she’s not crossing into bullying territory and putting you down because she can then you’re fine. If that line IS being crossed, I’d say your impulse to say fuck it is spot on. Sorry to hear about your family. Genuinely hope things get better for you, dude
Maybe I’ve misunderstood then…Have you communicated this to her? Maybe she doesn’t realize that you’re getting hurt. If she’s making comments off-hand, then Id tell her about how that makes you feel and the negative effect it’s having. Hopefully she’d understand. If she’s blatantly putting you down though, I’d dump her. There’s a line,,
and as long as she’s not crossing into bullying territory and putting you down because she can then you’re fine. If that line IS being crossed, I’d say your impulse to say fuck it is spot on. Sorry to hear about your family. Genuinely hope things get better for you, dude
Sorry for the double post–accident. Again, reading through your post, if she’s saying that you were a loser and name-calling, that’s crossing the line. Sorry, I know I’ve posted a lot on this thread. Been in a similar situation when I was younger so I just have a lot to say on this, that’s all.
Don’t worry about it. The fact is that she acknowledges that what she says and does hurts me and apologises everytime. Sometimes she guilts me by saying that she had to look past the problem and forgive me for the sake of us. I don’t know… she clearly regrets making me feel this way but at the same time, can’t get past me being with that other girl. (she didn’t know about her when we got together). I’ve come to the conclusion that she has some problems of her own. She sometimes says she wants to end her life aswell, but I don’t think she is serious about what she is saying. Thanks a lot for your time replying to me.
What happened to you? I think hearing your story would help me in some way, I can realate after all.
Thank you again!
I feel better now, in case it matters.
I would just leave her. But I guess it depends on if shes causing more harm than good.
Need a talk with your girlfriend. Tell her the issue ur having that is bugging you. If you both can’t find a solution to make this work, then best to go ur separate ways. Find a girl that’s actually an empath and caring. Those are your girls. Down to earth ones too because they don’t like drama. She has to support you if she is dating you. No one wants a woman that makes them feel bad all the time. It’s not cool.
Hunny trust me she is cheating on you or about to. You dont deserve her verbal abuse and if she has issues with peoples pasts than she will end up alone and bitter. You deserve better. You dont love her and you know it, but youre hoping theres still a chance cuz we all know it sucks to start over. But seriously, walk away, ghost her, she doesnt deserve any more words from you so just leave her guessing for once.