Im getting old woohoo!

• Im getting old woohoo!
• • my philosophy about how much suffering we should endure is probably comparable to that of clive barkers cenobites ideas around it.
  • ive honestly seeked out death for myself
  • ive honestly seeked out a life for myself.
  • Im at my end. If i can’t die. i cant live. .
  • im 29years old so you listen hear youngens and old bastards alike: Keep kicking or dont. Expend every ounce of free will. Preserve it. or dont.
  • im not sick. I never was.
  • They can take me away but after years of frustratingly ordering my opinions about this matter.. And learning to enter/escape bigger hell holes: Lol no one can convince me im crazy anymore.
  • i volunteered as bat shit.
  • How bad is my case? I cant say fully.
• this hell has my name allll over it. Everything makes too much sence.
• I know you lurkers are there.
• i dont need anyone’s understanding or empathy. Like it or lump it I dont need your validation. Ide prefer it now if you all form an opinion about me.I wont try to change it. Bite me..
• I made my own hell. im the one cycling in it.
• it’s been hard on me.
• Iv made a Ruckus.
• maybe i shouldnt be posting here.
• i dont care if my demons become contagious and spread depression as a mass hysteria.
• i dont care if the evil i bring into tomorow causes 1 million suicides.
• i dont care if the good i bring saves a million.
• Im preserved human excrement.
• this regressing story sucks ass.
• im bored of reading the same shit over and over.
• cant i even be original.

im here because i just wanted to say to you all.. That no matter the discomfort of this regressing dream and nightmare.. Il never need you. And youl never need me.  My love is all yours

just like the hate is.

when your busy becoming every monster in  human fiction, dying would seem like a way out. Well the things of my dreams have come into the flesh and when I die, i know im in trouble no less. It haunts me here it haunts me there. death will not save me . And life doesnt care.: i fucking dyes for this. Iv spent years without sleep because i became some nightmare on elmsteet like fucking cliche.

i hated hearing that death was a permanent solution to a temporary problem. In my experience. Death is a temporary solution to an eternal problem. And it doesnt work. Im not prolife. Im not prodeath. Bite your tails you fucks.

Ps today im “gods” gift to the world. You are all welcome. . Im now 7 years off the drs meds. I drink water and eat food. Im done playing games. Fuck this place. If you think i sound nuts, good ;fuck you too. Im punishing myself for being so self deceitful. . Remember a time when you had to grow balls to potentially fuck your life up like smoking pot/doing drugs/skipping classes or work.. I have no skeletons. My past lives in the now. I think ill just adopt an manipulate the storys that surround me. Maybe you are becoming our new jesus help me. Maybe theirs nothing more stimulating and pain inducing than contesting existence. Maybe. maybe,Im a little blessing for you. Take it or leave it. I was wrong to think that money or social status ruled over anything. Im a predator. Ill just fucking eat you to feed the dopamine center.
You dont need me. And i dont need you.Though.. I love to share this life and death with you. Watching you squirm is delightful. Reminds me of my younger days hanging from a bunkbed and sniffing pencil leds to end mylife when i was just 6 or 7. Please dont go anywhere on me. Im going to live to be 600yrs old. Im a disease. Im cancer im depression. Im hate. I refuse to die. I refuse to live . Im just here perpetuating this motion because its all i know. Knowing my luck.. The only escape from death or life might be my own personally build electric chair. I have family that was turned into a vegetable using electroshock therapy. The doctors a few years ago offered it to me. I refused. Their not legally supposed to anymore here unless you’ve been on it a life time already.. Well surprise! Now youl have to fucking catch me.   good luck with that.  Im in hell. Theres no one here but me. And im so generic… Im nobody im not the dreamer im the fool.  this program thats set up  sucks. Life is a santa not meant for you that you still have to keep secret for all the other little angles. Fuck you all i hope i burn in a fire. watch me fry. Dont bother to piss on me. I cant feel anything anyway.

on a side note. Take care of yourselves. Place the goal beyond the material. Put love at the bottom line. Dont expectit to return.  Give it away.  Its corruption placing any event beyond causations influence. and thats why ill love you until time throws its self off a cliff and dies.

life can stop being shit and asking for so many favors.  Lol im not obligated to keep lifes secrets nor obligated to care if your upset /got some of it wrong.  ill take ten milliondollars or a bullet in the head for me to shut up. Lol yeild to my demands you bastards. Suicide can suck my dick. Life can too. causation blows. Its all got to go. destroy the world. Destroy the fabric of space. destroy value over matter. Destroy all humans: With love.

I hate religion.

JUST LIKE I HATE ADSPACE.

its a necessary evil required in order to provide a service (lol)

I’m going to spoil life.

One of us.

gooble gobble.

im happier than youl know.

The prime enemy is my friend

so is the hero.

fuck me.

Im all out of enemies.

its the end of my personalized theraputic blabbering you washed up cunts.

hello MODERATORS.

dont del – EAT ME!!!!!!

do byte me.

JUST HAVE A NICE DAY. WITH ALL THE LOVE .

AND THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR SHARING YOUR STORYS OVER THE YEARS. THEY LITTERALLY MADE NO DIFFERENCE TO ME EVEN THOUGH THEY APPEARED TO BE THE ANSWER. I LIVED IT UP LIKE I WAS THE ONLY. WHAT A RUSH. I REALLY WAS AFFRAID ID DIE THERE FOR A BIT. DIEINGS GETTING EASIER. .  I GOT MYOLDEST SELF BACK. IM HERE TO STAY.  BE ME OR DONT BE ME.

-S.THOMAS. </3