I just know that I can’t keep living like this.
I’m skipping school today because I didn’t do my homework and I have assessments today I’m not ready for.
It sounds petty, and it is. I feel unnervingly calm these days; friends are worrying about college apps and tests, and I just sit there, feeling nothing. I’ve always been a huge procrastinator, but this year the results have finally shown it: my grades have slipped, I’m always sleeping late, I never have any energy in class, I hate all my subjects, I’m constantly binge-eating. And I know I should care (I do, to some extent), but I can’t seem to care enough to work harder or change myself.
Through it all, I’m thinking: what if all this is just laziness? What if nothing is wrong with me and I just need to pull myself together? What if all this is just five years of not being able to properly grow up?
4 comments
i hope it is just laziness and that nothing is “wrong with you” if it is, you just need a little encouragement, probably, and someone help help pull you through. i’m very lazy lol, it’s not easy to change, but i have about 50 sticky notes on my walls and desk and door to remind me to exercise, do homework, get to bed on time etc, and about 50 others that are just things like “you can do it!” maybe try making yourself a to do list for each day, and if you can complete lets say more than half, then you know you’re still able to properly function, if not, well then you can improve and improve you shall if you can keep saying positive things to yourself. try the sticky notes if nothing else, to encourage yourself to keep going, even though it may seem pointless, there is green grass on the other side (other side not meaning heaven…quite yet, although i’m sure u’ll make it there)
Sorry about that love. Read my post, maybe it’ll cheer you up a bit.
Well since your not sure if your suicidal, this is a good site to come to and post your thoughts of how your feeling.
It more than likely isn’t just laziness. It’s depression. We’ve all made excuses to try to protect it, but you’ve gotta see a doctor before it develops really severely.