Fading Pictures of the life that i once loved.

I dont know anymore what do to , what do think. My girlfriend had anoxeria and bulimia. She got over it.  But the aftermath is that all the time shes somekind of sick and ill.  Through the Year she chanced she started to getting annoyed by everythink.  and she always say i wanna pick a fight or some shit. we still love each other but i cant go on for over a month i havent seen here and always when we wanna see us there is some problem that we cannot see eachother atm it the problem that shes annoyed and she dont want to be annyoed anymore sound weird but yeah.  i dont kinda feel loved anymore always talking about problems having a talking pause (a phase where have no contact) i cant take it anymore but i still love her. im sick of seeing all those happy couples and im sick that everyone tells me i should break up. Im sick of that everyone in my family has a psychologial problem. my sister has Schizophrenia my moms okay but she dont comes clear with all the probs. my dad is an alcoholic who smokes too much cics he allready had cancer. My grandma and her life partner dont like me only because i have long hair. I can get a Job no matter how hard i try. im feeling so lonley but my girlfriend dont let me see her untill her problems are solved. i pray to god but somehow i dont get an answer i know god probably has alot to do but yeah. i cant take all this shit any longer. i wish i would be someone else someone who is happy.  i had times where i cut myself only that i can cry again. every couple i know is happy and dont has such really problems like me. im not happy anymore. i thought about a lot about suicide i know i would never do it i dont wanna dissapoint the ppl who love me.