Scared

Okay, so right now, I want to commit suicide badly, but I’m scared like a little baby. I actually took 5 paracetamols to make me feel a bit numb. But whenever I think of that person, I just can’t seem to do it. Oh, I am so tired of living through all this pain. I can’t tell someone cuz I’m afraid they’d think i just want to draw their attention. 🙁 I was actually okay yesterday, but when my grandma called tonight, she said some things about my mom which I didn’t like. I was so mad. I mean, why does she always tell me that? I can’t take it anymore! Then my mom called and asked about what my grandma and I talked, and I answered her badly. I was about to tell her, “SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!” But I got hold of myself. I AM SO TIRED OF LIVING IN THIS WORLD AND BEING WITH THIS FAMILY WHERE HATE HAS BECOME THE BASIS FOR LIVING. I want to die. Right now. No matter how. As long as it is NOW.