Im saving money, running away, then killing myself. I’m hoping i get this job first, then save up to at lease 800 and hopefully that’ll be by the end of march. and if i dont have a job by then end of march 31st which is a Saturday and a little bit of money (at lease to get me to a plane ticket) then im still leaving. far away. When i  get there, ill get a hotel and kill myself. Why do all this? Well, I just cant take it here no more, i just want to leave everything and everyone. and When i do get there i wont have nothing to do. ill be homeless for a couple days. so im just better of dead. I dont want my family or no one finding me or anything. i know that’s sick and ‘selfish” but, i honestly don’t care. When you go through life having social anxiety and low self esteem, having everyone calling you ugly and disformed, you just don’t see the point of living. Well i Don’t. i know that you have to be at lease good looking, or somewhat attractive to go through life and get treated with fairness and respect. No matter how many makeovers i get, no matter how much i try to change myself, or how much fucking make-up i put on, every single day i get called ugly. Every guy i have liked always says I’m ugly and i just always been rejected. it gets annoying. I have been suicidal since 10th grade. i’ve been getting called ugly since the 6th. it sucks. i know this isnt a big fucking deal, but its just me, i just hate myself. On the days i think i look good, there has to be someone there to say something fucked up. and i just cant keep living with myself either. Im done. By the end of next month i will die. i have to, because thinking about it makes me happy, and sadly, that’s the only thing that makes me happy and feel better.
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I am new to this site. I don’t really know how to talk to people and say something encouraging. The thing I can relate to is social anxiety and having low self esteem. Most people wouldn’t understand how that could drive someone to this point. I can’t explain my SAD to anyone. I think they wouldn’t understand. Even I don’t fully understand it. Why me? Why is it so hard to be normal? Is it possible to ever beat this?. Anyway love, I’m keeping you in my prayers.
im sorry ,, but i know what being ugly is and called and be treated even to me. when i see ugly face in the mirror i feel so ashamed and want to kill my self or be flushed in the toilet. so i’m thinking plastic surgery.. i feel so sad and hopeless but its not because my appearance,, im in korea and you may not know much but here if ugly person existed its sin,, uglys dont get hired so plastic business is so well provided. and i’m going to go through some surgerys even im feeling suiside. i guess just a little of things to get self esteem wouldnt be harmful i guess. you can still be beautiful !! so dont just give up only because of your appearance.
I hate to break it to you but it’s not easy for attractive people either. I was an ugly kid who was constantly made fun of. Those scars do not heal. I became a recluse. Now, I’m more physically attractive. Women often turn me down because they think I’m a player or just looking for something quick, or that I have a girlfriend, when in reality I’m just dying for somebody to bond with. In my eyes it’s been a curse. I try to get to know some women and right off the bat they think I’m just trying to sleep with them. Not at all.
No don’t, I can’t see your face and I can’t tell you anything in truth that will assist in you staying. Please don’t die, I hate to see people die, I wanted to die so many time people to called me such horrible names and even worse. I wanted to die I wanted to hide in a hole and lay there until death took me, but I came out I wasn’t going to back down or change for anyone. It’s okay to want to run away its okay to hide, but please when I think about how people die because of others people’s actions or stupid personality’s it makes me sick and it twists my gut. I can tell you right now, your beautiful, those people calling us such horrible things are ugly inside and out, there is nothing wrong with the way we look or how we are, as long as we accept that we are beautiful inside and out.
Don’t do it. It’s not worth it. If you can get that job you are capable of something! Why do that when there is so much better? Yeah life is terrible at points for some of us all the time but i know for a fact it gets better. I watched my friend struggle she gets laser surgery to remove her scars. People picking on you? Screw them! It’s not worth letting them get to you. You are beautiful within your flaws and no one can change that besides you. You really might find things you can accomplish whether you know it now or later. Life is worth it and you are worth it. Don’t do it. Trust me when i say that. If you EVER need someone to talk to e-mail me i am ALWAYS open for grabs. We can get through this together and you can get through this all on your own. My e-mail is st_world2007@yahoo.com in subject you just put where you get my e-mail from alright? You are beautiful and believe me when i say this. Stay beautiful be filled with peace<3
i love you!