I quit my job after 3 days. 3 whole days and i quit. im such dumb failure. Im over-sensitive, and social anxiety, and i couldn’t take the fact that those god awful customers disrespected me like that. i couldn’t bare the fact that i got threaten, assaulted and harassed. im so stupid. Secondly, this guy scared the crap out of me in the parking lot. i have never been so scared before. I was in the parking lot sitting in my car reading something, and this guy comes out of nowhere and parks next to me. He just starring at me, and he winks, and i got […]
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March 31st
i acutally thought working and having a job would make things easier for me. But its actually not. it actually just makes me want to continue on with my plan. It just wont be march 31st it would probaly be at the end of june or before graduation. I got the job so i can save up money and run away….then just kill myself. im just tired in every way there is.
i always write here when i feeling some type of way, and right now i do.
I hate the fact that i think about suicide 24/7. when i do something bad, when someone yells at me, when my parent argue, when i get bad grades, when i look at myself in the mirror, when im standing next to my best friend, when people are starring at me, anything. I really feel like im going to commit suicide on march 31st. Â I have a gut feeling i am, im just so really ready to die. im so ready for all of this to just stop, im not […]
I always wonder, what would life be like if i was more….appealing, attractive, pretty…you know? i wonder if my life would be different, and if i would have all these suicidal thoughts. Personally i think everything would be better. The reason i get treated like shit now is because the way i look. I think if i was pretty, more people would respect me and treat me better. The other day i realized how much i hate myself. i realized that maybe im ugly, because i have ugly thoughts. or maybe because i just do horrible things. Im just an horrible person. Im so selfish […]
Im saving money, running away, then killing myself. I’m hoping i get this job first, then save up to at lease 800 and hopefully that’ll be by the end of march. and if i dont have a job by then end of march 31st which is a Saturday and a little bit of money (at lease to get me to a plane ticket) then im still leaving. far away. When i  get there, ill get a hotel and kill myself. Why do all this? Well, I just cant take it here no more, i just want to leave everything and everyone. and When i do […]