I started to cry myself to sleep when I was in the second grade. I was bullied, and could never really find myself with any real friends. I have always tried to be overly accommodating hoping that this would help people like me, but it doesn’t work. I am 25 and still do this, and it still doesn’t work. I am used at work. They take advantage of me because they know I will not say no. I feel like I am back in second grade. Killing myself has always felt like it will be the best thing for me. Too bad I’m more afraid of the shame I will feel if I try something and am not successful. I am too scared to look at people and have them know that I feel this way. I know its acceptable to reach out to people, but I still feel that there is a huge stigma with depression. Please let it be over soon. I really cannot stand to feel this way. I have spent too much of my life trying to cater to other people and too much of my life feeling like I am not up to par.
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I want it to go away too. I remember being so happy for a couple of days and i thought to myself “it’s gone”, but it always comes back.
Wanna chat sometime?
email me?
jbdm1992@hotmail.com
I feel exactly the same way about my job/life. I’m a couple of years older but yeah, work stinks and people are mostly jerks. I have fundamental issues but there are still a lot of medications which might help me.
Anyway, I just sent off two job applications this morning. One of them was in my professional background the other a copywriter of all things. If I get rejected I’m just going to keep trying until literally they have to get injunctions out. If your unhappy with your job it’s easy to find another if you try hard enough. I have been tied down by contractual obligations but that’s all over now.
Also, people can and will walk all over you. I live in the UK and you know there are just certain areas where people are friendly. Like it rubs of similar to a regional dialect. Apply for jobs in those demographic areas and your less likely to come into contact with nasty people at work. The area of work can also be important for example you will find nicer people if you worked for a registered charity, at a zoo, performing arts etc…
As far as we know depression is permanent. We can mitigate, medicate, manage it, whatever, but it will always come back. After fighting it for the last 30 years I finally decided to let it take it’s course…