Just to make it go away.

I was picked on a lot growing up, but I never really had any “severe” problems with it until I was eleven. I was cornered by two girls at my city mall and they threatened me, harassed me, assaulted me. They told me I was worthless. I tried my hardest to ignore the situation but that was when the self-infliction started. I cut my wrists, my arms, legs. It wasn’t to try and kill myself, it just made me feel better. They made me feel ugly on the inside, and I felt I needed to look ugly on the outside, too.
When I was 12 years old, I found a sharper razor.. I cut a little deeper. I cut too deep. My mom had found me.  She took me to the hospital and I spent three days under watch. And the next 6 years in therapy.  She never looked at me the same after that.
I cut myself until I was 16.  I’m 22 years old now, and every single day I look down at my arms and think about how hard I  have to fight not to start doing something so harmful to myself. I never had a reason for trying to take my own life. After years of being bullied I felt the only way to put an end to it just that. Put an end to it, and my self.
I don’t really know how to tell stories like this. I’ve only ever talked about it once. It has been 6 years since that time period in my life. And I can’t be more greatful, and thankful for the friends I have made in that time period. They have saved my life, and will continue to do so.