There is no real reason for the way I feel or the way I think.
I’m 20, I’ve had thoughts of suicide since I was 13.
I was never bullied, average student, lots of friends.
I just feel alone all the time. Like no one understands how I think.
I always question the world and people. I don’t like how people think or how this world has turned out.
I get lost in my own crazy thoughts. I’m so lost. I just want to end this now!
I’m scared for the people that care about me. Sometimes I feel like everyone is annoyed with me, but when I start to think about when I’ll commit, I know they’ll miss me and be upset.
I’ve cut before but I don’t like how people can see my scars, then they’ll want to help me.
Do I really want to do that to them? Do I really want to keep being miserable all the fucking time just to keep them happy?
No. The answer to both those questions.
So what do I do?
5 comments
I feel the same way a lot of the time… I might not be able to help all that much, but I’m here if you want to talk…
you’re not alone. I’m trying to CTB soon but it seems like everyone else here is just a depressed person looking for a shoulder to cry on.
Hi I’m not looking for a shoulder what’s up?
Keep working hard to move forward, makeitgoawayplease. If you’re in school, study hard…. If you’re in the working world, work hard… You are in charge of where things go. Sometimes it helps to reach out… Maybe doing so would benefit you.
You can’t live your life for other people. You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if it hurts some people you love. You need to ask yourself if you want help or not. Stop making yourself miserable and causing other people to worry needlessly. I have been suicidal since idk 2nd or 3rd grade. Nobody knows. My brother is your age and he causes my parents a thousand times more trouble. Why? Because he is crying out for help. Why? Probably because he wants to live. I don’t cry for help because I don’t want to live. I don’t want help. You need to make a decision. Live, learn and take care of others (this responsibility will make you feel needed and will distract you from your “crazy thoughts†inadvertently taking care of yourself) or pay off your bills, pack up, die, and teach by example.