Stupid me…I couldnt smuggle one of my necessary components into OZ(or I should say I didnt want to attempt it) and I came close…had so many oportunities…a 7th story balcony…the ocean,crocodile infested waterways,the dense rainforest….
All throughout my vacation,my boyfriend really hit home ow little I matter to him,lying about his vacation,rarely calling me,not planning on coming home for weeks so he can be with his mommy and daddy….the only thing he cares about is making sure he gets paid back his money that I corrowed from him.
Now,stupid me,I made it home…and Im in physical pain,suffering at the emptiness that i came home to.No one cares,no one to greet me,nothing but my bland existence to look forward to. Australia kept me going for so long,now its gone.
And money…always money….lots and lots of debt and bills,plus my work wants me to pay up $250 for medical insurance by Friday or they will cancel it or take it out of my next paycheck,thus leaving me with nothing.
I just cant take it anymore. Ive said it before,but this time its real. I dont know if I can suck up the courage to do anything tonight,but I just dont see myself lasting more than a week or two at this point. I cant take life anymore. I had my two weeks of semi-happiness(Australia is beautiful but still hard watching couples on romantic getaways and families on vacations,and knowing neither will ever be me). But even then,I didnt belong…backpackers snubbed me b/c I was a “snob” for staying in a hotel(albeit CHEAP),I didnt fit in with most hotel peeps with money,obviously didnt fit in with couples or families, and the few times I attempted to go to bars I stood out like an old sore thumb. I even failed at my intro scuba diving attempt,freaking out…although ironically,this would have been a great option to go LOL.
I think its just really time.
2 comments
i’m glad you saw some beauty in australia because it shows that it really does exist. i know theres lots of bad things,but there are good things worth living for too.I know finding the right person to share your life with is a hard thing to do,and i won’t pretend to be good at relationships because i’ve def. made my share of mistakes too. but i don’t believe for a second that you won’t ever find love. i think the first most important thing is to realize that you don’t deserve to be treated badly-to learn to love yourself and realize you ARE worthy of love and happiness. i think once we love ourselves it makes it possible for us to let the right person love us too. i’m sorry things are so hard financially right now,but your definitely not alone. things are hard everywhere.please don’t end your life! talk to us,maybe we can help somehow.
I wish I could go to Australia! THe pictures of the country look beautiful. If you are having a rough patch with your finances, Citi bank is offering a credit card with 0% apr for 18 months (1 year and 6 months) after signing up. You can transfer all the money you have on another credit card that has interest and put it on this one with zero interest. I did this recently and it helped me alot. The card is called the Simplicity card. Just google citi credit cards. There is a balance tranfer fee of like 3%, its worth it though by saving on the interest. There is also no annual fees. The website describes the card. Are there other ways you can save money, like finding cheaper rent or getting rid of bills in other ways. Wawanesa has pretty cheap car insurance and they are good. I have their insurance.