To start I have been watching this site for a year. I have witnessed sorrow, pain, emptiness, death, and living the life of death. I have also watched a few people climb from the edge and feel wonderful.
I am so sorry to tell you this but that lasting happiness is a lie. Someday everything you built will come crashing down. Your spouse will leave you sure to your mental wearing them down. Those people who can see the worlds splendor will never truly understand us.
I have a good job, a sweet step-daughter, a beautiful wife, and the cutest dog in the world.
I own a home and have a good job BUT I am broken just like many of you.
I am bi-polar mixed state with minor personality disorder.
everyday I take a handful of pills to remain as sane as possible.
I’m sure you all understand the highs and the lows.
Many of you are very young and suffer from deep depression and a few of us are a bit older. We have experienced the first love tragedy and the pain it causes. Now I don’t want to scare you but, it will happen again and again as you grow older. Love, hate, love.
When it comes to cutting I understand the release of pain while in the cutting process. I have always wanted to jab my Smith and Wesson straight blade through my hand and into a two by four just in moments of mania.
I would like to tell all of you everything is going to be ok but if you are reading this then you know it is not.
Many of you have posted very enlightening suicidal
Posts. Someone posted an epitaph that was pure genius. Others techniques. I feel techniques are a bit excessive. If you are going to put an end to your existence just tell is you are not how.
As for myself… My time grows near. my wife has to withstand the never ending grinding of highs and lows. She is about to break. I have very few friends or family it will effect. My wife will move on and as all of us we will be forgotten within months. On distant occasions someone will think of us briefly than out will be gone.
Good luck to all of us! Try and fight your demons or lay down your sword. Either one we are nothing but space dust. There is no god no devil. Nothing.
I don’t mean offend anyone but the war will never end.
5 comments
There doesn’t seem to be enough good moments in life, to make it worth the shit, and the pain that goes along with it.
Some people accept the rollercoaster just fine.
Mainly because from their perspective that is all life is and can ever be.
They feel the lows are necessary for a myriad of reasons.
I’m not one of those.
Like you I tire of getting a temporary relief followed by more pain.
Or having to suffer years for one bad choice that I myself or someone else made.
Or to have to deal with not only consequences of my own actions but a whole lot of consequences for the actions of people who came before me or who are living currently.
Being that it is inescapable by continuing on, death is the only practical way to exit the pain. One may lose the pleasure as well but it is a small price to pay when the lives of so many are more suffering than healing.
Happiness is an illusion.
madder-red, U.N. Owen, and AbnormalPsyche,
Thank you for replying. You all all have realistic points and are some of the few that can see how everyones life on this site is doomed one way or another. It’s sad to see that someone will post how happy they are because they have met the love of their life, and then post how everything is horrible because the love of their life just kicked them to the curb. This process will continue over and over until themselves and the family or friends have had enough of the grinding like steel on stone.
So then they have to make a choice. Live, die, suffer, suffer with a million pills in hand everyday over and over.
For us there is no message of reason. none
If happiness is an illusion then so is sadness … you can’t have one without the other … complacency is the middle ground and is a neutral – neither happy nor sad – it’s existence – often mistaken as “sadness” or ‘pain”. Laying in bed eating potato chips is complacent existence – it’s not sadness/pain … you want more? get up and do something, go for a walk, something – you have that power/ability
Doom? Yeah, we’re all doomed from birth – but we all have a choice on how we live while we die – which we are with every singe breath, we’re dying. happiness everlasting/ yeah, that is false … there is happiness, but it’s never “everlasting” … like a great movie or sports game … it ends, but we get to experience it and enjoy it … it’s what we CAN obtain, the happiness is the reward and motivation to go beyond mere existence.
anyone can exist … and occasionally a random happy moment will come to you just as random sadness will as well, but you can’t get either without being proactive … and your own controllable actions determine the outcome.
Nothing is free and nothing is sure … only birth and death (and in most country’s, taxes) so YOU have to be proactive to find your happiness … and along the way you WILL experience sadness … which makes the happy moments that much more valuable.
build your own happiness, one block at a time … the journey of 1,000 miles stats with a single step … get going 🙂
git er dun dawg