Last week was my second time trying to commit suicide… I was crying and couldn’t stop because I felt unloved and unwanted. My self-confidence dropped to 0% and I couldnt talk to anyone about it. I felt as if no one understood what i was going through. My left arm is permanently scarred all the way down on the bottom and it reminds me of what I did…. I kinda wish that I did it deeper… There seems to be nothing good about me. I battle the urge to just Over Dose on any pills or slit my arms and wrists. I just don’t want to be here really. I am a screw-up of a kid. I just make my family’s life horrible. I see nothing good of me. I just can’t be the “perfect daughter” that my parents seem to want me to be. I just… Can’t take it anymore. I am still put-down and I still feel so fat, ugly, and like a whore. What is good about me? I wish that someone could tell me…
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4 comments
Just one of the things that is great about you is that you have the strength to come here and tell us.
You sound overwhelmed by your feelings but it’s good to let them out!
Tell us more please.
Peace
I will, Guardian.. Thank you
It’s hard to keep sight of the big picture. Don’t take this the wrong way, but when compared to everything around us, humans are but a speck of dust in an endless ocean of mystery. It is this insignificance that makes us something special, that makes everything, no matter how small, something special. Most of us spend the majority of our time trying to find something to be a part of, something bigger than ourselves because we feel so teeny tiny and useless. But any architect, any builder, knows that even the smallest fault can propagate into total disaster. Meaning, that no matter how small something may seem, it can have an impact. In our case, it’s with those around us. Don’t try to be the perfect anything, try to be the most “you.” If it doesn’t work for others, fuck them. If you live for others, you will NEVER, ever be content. There are just too many people to please. On the other hand, if you live for yourself, there is only one person to please. If someone tries to hurt you, physically or verbally, brush them off. Don’t live in the past and don’t forsake the future. Wear your scars as a memorial to a part of you that you have left behind. Hope some of my words helped, please discard what hasn’t.
You remind me of myself! So you are not alone! I could have said the same thing, bu I guess we are not going through the same thing. But maybe something alike? Yeah, I don’t know. I just want you to know that you are not alone, and if you ever wanna talk then I’m here for you! You can write personally to me if you want! My email is emmymarierose@hotmail.com ! Hotmail is stupid, but I really wanna get to know someone who feels the same way as me. And if you’d like that too them just write me sometime, ok? That’s all I wanted to say! So, good luck with life. It sucks, but hey! Make it worth living !