Why is it so hard to accept me the way I am…
I’m awkward,weird and have the strangest of haircut.I didn’t know that was so unforgivable.I’m just tired of putting on that fake personality,that fake smile.It’s almost a natural reflexe now.Every time I’m finaly able to be myself(wich is a RARE occurence),people just avoid me.It’s been like that since kindergarden.Am I that repulsing?
I’m tired of speacking to myself.
Tired of crying alone.
Tired of feeling like I was a shadow.
I feel so worthless,alone in this sea of people just passing by me unless I say what they want.I’ve never been able to find the place I can call home.To be with the people i want to be with.FUCK I can’t even tell who I am.All those year of freacking faking it all,puting that fucking mask so I don’t gross people out.
Am I such a monster that it’s unbearable to look at me?
1 comment
I very much doubt you are a monster sweetheart, you know reading your post, i was finding myself agreeing, most of that rang true to me. I put on a mask every day, put on a brave face.. At the end of the day i dont know who i am.. Im amwho ever you want or need me to be, i have different personalities depending who i am with.. I guess i kind of mirror them. Without anyone near to mirror.. I am a mess.. An empty shell… Lost.
I totally understand where you are coming from, you had a look at support groups within your community to meet like minded and supportve people? I mean the SP community are here too 🙂
Chin up, i bet you are a lovely, kind, intelligent and attractive person! X