Hi all,
I wasn’t around for a while but i am still not ok at all. My problem is that I can’t enjoy my life. I just started crying without any reason. I know, that it would be good to do something like going swimming, or jogging or something else. But I am feeling so down I can barely start anything. Today there is a really huge city-party, where thousands of people are going. But I keep telling myself, that I won’t go there alone, because everytime I went in the public alone, I started feeling even more lonely. Unfortunately I dont have someone to go there. that means I am not going to the party. I don’t like much people, eventually I dont like nearly everyone, and that is may be my mistake. Hating everyone for being different then me.
I am pretty fucked up. But I dont want compassion, I am responsible for my situation. It was all my mistake.  Like yesterday when I nearly cutted myself. All I want is vanishing from this world. Suicide is the only way to “vansih” but i a not going to kill myself, i am feeling to worse and weak for doing this. I hate myself and my fucking life.
I can get out of this shit, I know it. But I don’t have the power to get out. Help me, please…..
3 comments
I don’t know if I can help you. But at the very least I can acknowledge you. It hurts. I know the feeling when you begin to despise everyone. Sometimes I just want to murder the whole world.
You might not believe me when I say this, but it’s not your fault. No one asks to be depressed, to be alienated and terribly lonely. I am saying this with complete genuineness, not out of pity or anything.
As someone who has social anxiety disorder(among other issues) I know exactly how you feel. I’ve decided to go back to smoking weed personally. I’m still lonely as fuck but at least reality is less painful. That is terrible advice I know but I have nothing else.
Thanks guys,
your advise is helpful, at least someone understands me.
I helped myself in the evening by going to this city party.
Thank you for being here while I was feeling down.