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ablackrose

Is this the end?

by ablackrose
written by ablackrose

Right now all I can think of is suicide.  It is drowning me little by little.  It will wear me down until I can’t take it anymore.  Then it will win me over for good.  I don’t want that day to come.  But I just can’t help looking in the mirror and seeing what a disaster I am.  I always question why I am still alive.  My head tells me, ‘Just end this; right here right now you’re not worth shit.’  But then my heart says…

Well I don’t know what my heart says anymore.  There is nothing there.  Everyday my emotions seem to fade away […]

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A letter to my love.

by ablackrose
written by ablackrose

It’s just before 12pm.  I have only just woken up and I wake up today looking at life like it’s a curse.  What is the point of living life?  (Not in a suicidal state of mine).  I lay here thinking to myself how hard it is to get out of bed to get to the shower or to get downstairs to eat breakfast.  So I just lay here for longer.  It is now 1pm.  I have decided to get up and start going on with my day to day jobs.  I was meant to go out today but I don’t want to leave the house. […]

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Jobless.

by ablackrose
written by ablackrose

Has anyone here been fired from a job because of their depression and having emotional breakdowns mostly every shift?  I am too scared to find another job because I don’t want to disappoint anyone else.

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Stuck…

by ablackrose
written by ablackrose

My boyfriend doesn’t understand my depression and social anxiety.  He thinks its a phase and that I will grow out of it.  My depression gets worse everyday and I want him to realise the seriousness of this before it is too late.  What should I do?

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Living a lonely exsistence

by ablackrose
written by ablackrose

Not being able to sleep is one of the worst feelings.  Insomnia is definitely something to hate.  I don’t go to bed until 4 or 5am.  I then wake up around 12pm and just go do my normal day to day jobs.  My boyfriend gets home at the mid afternoon.  I hardly ever see him.  Once he gets home, he comes up to our room to see me, spends 5 minutes with me, then goes to hangs out with his friends for ages, then doesn’t come back up until 7pm, then we make dinner, then we watch a movie (where no catch up or talking […]

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My Story

by ablackrose
written by ablackrose

I am speaking directly to people that suffer from severe depression and social anxiety.  To people that know that they have been diagnosed with severe depression or social anxiety; please know that there are people out there just like you.  Just like me.  For five years I have been suffering from severe depression.  I was diagnosed when I was 15 years old.  Everyday is a struggle for me whether it is visible to the people around me or not.  I don’t have anyone left to turn to.  All of the people that are in my close circle of friends and family just ignore my call. […]

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Falling out of love?

by ablackrose
written by ablackrose

I am scared.  My boyfriend is suffering on account of my everyday depressive state.  I love him but I am afraid that one day it will be too much for him to handle.  He says he won’t leave me, but it’s easier said than done.  He is the best thing that’s ever happened to me , but right now I just feel blank, I can’t express my love.

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by ablackrose
written by ablackrose

I have insomnia.  I have been diagnosed with servers depression and I really don’t know where to turn to anymore.  I am up all night and exhausted during the day.  I feel absolutely useless to my boyfriend who said to me that it will be ok and it isn’t because he is the one who has found me multiple times blacked out on the floor with a razor in hand.  I’m unemployed and unable to find work.  I am contemplating suicide and I just need someone to listen.

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Over it

by ablackrose
written by ablackrose

Everyday I think about what it is like to succeedin life.  Tonight I am sitting here and thinking that I have had enough.  I am sick of not being able to achieve anything or make anyone proud of me.  Since I was 14 all I have known is negativity, suicide thoughts, razor blades and lonely nights lying in bed with blood dripping from my arms and wrists.  With a life like that, I want out.  I am sick of no one listening.

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