Author

AmIStuckNow

How to release these feelings?

by AmIStuckNow 10/29/2014

written by AmIStuckNow

I had a really tough night last night. Nothing that bad happened but I just felt out of control and really really terrible.

Even after sleeping I still feel really terrible. Now I have these feelings inside me that won’t go away and I don’t know how to release them.

I feel the need to hurt myself. It’s really really strong. I promised not to cut myself, so I started scratching myself and pulling out my hair because I don’t know how else to release my feelings.

I want to hurt myself. I want to release my anger and anxiousness and feelings of being out of control and […]

10/29/2014 2 comments

Last night, I got a long hug. And someone listened to me.

by AmIStuckNow 10/22/2014

written by AmIStuckNow

Someone really helped me. It’s long, but I want to put it into words and share.

Yesterday I felt extremely lonely. Devoid of all emotion. I just…couldn’t feel anything at all.

Almost anything. Just when I looked in the mirror and saw age spots and gray hair on someone so young it just showed the fighting I’ve been doing and stress of my life. At that moment I felt anger, worthlessness, and wasted years. It was like all of the emotions I’ve felt were physically manifesting themselves as a cruel reminder, every time I look the mirror – looking back at me.

I was thinking about suicide…again…but I […]

10/22/2014 5 comments

Cutting – Started and Can’t Stop – Advice?

by AmIStuckNow 10/21/2014

written by AmIStuckNow

Despite feeling helpless and suicidal through the later part of middle school and all of high school and college, I had never cut myself. I had never really felt the desire to.

But now, things are different. About 2 months ago I was very depressed and I tried cutting my upper arm and my legs. I wasn’t very good at it, so little blood came out. The marks went away about a month later.

But since then I’ve cut 3 more times. The 3rd time I cut, I cut my stomach and my lower leg. I work at home now, using my computer for 95% of my […]

10/21/2014 10 comments

Question for people who tried to commit suicide: What did you think at that time?

by AmIStuckNow 10/16/2014

written by AmIStuckNow

This is a question for people who tried committing suicide, but whose attempt failed.

I’ve heard that when people try jumping to their deaths, they “immediately regret the decision as soon as they are in the air.”

If you’ve tried this method, did you feel “Oh my gosh, I shouldn’t have done this?” Or “I’m so glad I’m doing this.”?

Do people “immediately regret their decision”, when they try other methods, such as cutting, hanging, or taking pills or poison?

If you’ve tried committing suicide, I’m just curious to know what was going through your mind when you had already begun the attempt.

Was it like “Oh no, I’ve made […]

10/16/2014 17 comments

I need someone to listen…and maybe someone to talk to

by AmIStuckNow 10/7/2014

written by AmIStuckNow

I really need someone to listen to my story and my feelings. I am in a position where I can really get the help I need and don’t really have anyone to talk to. Even if I did, there are some things I can’t really tell them.

This is really long, but it would really save me if someone can read it and respond…and maybe talk to me.

So, I am just going to pour out my feelings here. A lot of what I write will be vague, because I can’t divulge my identity (I’ll explain why later.)

Recently I’ve felt very suicidal for a lot of reasons. […]

10/7/2014 5 comments