annon111

I want to be happy, but I’m scared. Scared because I don’t know if it will last very long, scared to let myself feel joy because I know the crash back down hurts so much, scared I’ll mess something up. Anyone ever feel similarly? At least now I know how I’ll feel tomorrow, and the day after that, and the next, and the next… Feeling nothing is better than feeling pain.

Also unrelated but whats the deal when I post a comment but then it doesn’t show up? I spend a long time writing them and then they just disappear…

Today I was biking home and I went past my friend’s house. I hadn’t talked to him in over a year ever since he sorta drifted away and I found out he left our school and was doing home school. He saw me go by and I saw him so I stopped and we talked for a while. Looking back I can see now he was depressed (when he left school) but I couldn’t see it at the time. It wish I could have understood at the time but this just makes me realize nobody who hasn’t felt this way can understand.  It made me […]

Do you ever just stop for a minute and really, truly take a good look at yourself and wonder why you’re even alive still.

Like I’m not even feeling that bad at the moment but I honestly can’t think of one good reason to live.

Like what’s the point? It’s all so empty; what’s the “goal”?

I’m so done. Yesterday I was so frustrated and angry and just hated myself and being alive so I tried to cut to like let it out but i literally didn’t feel anything.

Which is worse, to feel hopelessly empty or to hate yourself?

I feel like I bounce back and forth between these two states and I can’t figure out which one is better to stay in.

Just looking for some other opinions.