So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Tell me what keeps you awake at night?
If I was born into a noble family in the 1500’s, I would be happy. I could be a pawn to the king and get killed in battle, at least it would be lawful and acceptable. I’d be a marauder of death, wielding two claymore because shields mean you want to see tomorrow.
If I was born to a caveman 15,000 B.C.E, I would be happy. My mind would be at ease, the only thoughts it could produce would be for survival. I’d likely die before 20 due to some malicious disease, and that’s fine by me.
If I was born in 1997,May 15th, then I would […]
I think suicide is just about the only thing I think about anymore. I doubt if I will commit any time soon as I want to record some of my thoughts to leave behind so my family knows whats been going on right in front of them. The reality for me now is that someday I will die by my own hand and nothing can change that. I don’t even have a story, all I am is a middle-class white teen with too much time on his hands. *sigh* Heading off to work, so I can think about suicide while people around me think about […]
I think I’ve come to terms with suicide. I know that it will be the way I die, but not the method. I do know that I want to buy a nice big leather and metal Grimiore to write down all my thoughts, I suppose like a journal. Then when the time comes I won’t need to write a note, I can just clutch my grimiore on the way out. I see suicide as a perfect way to die, surely some call those who have succeeded in their suicide attempts cowards though they are not. I know the immense courage that it would take to […]
Only 17 years old and I have so much to say and I would never be able to remember it all to write it down at once. I don’t understand the purpose of our species, we are reckless and materialistic. The closest people to me don’t even know that I think of suicide nearly every night, I go to work and wonder if the people I work with can even sense that I hate life. I’ve been thinking about it for years, and i remember being younger and trying to hold my breath until I died underwater but obviously that doesn’t work. I’ve pondered the […]
I hate school, its one of the worst places. The people in my high school are idiots, they’re oblivious. Then again I’m too afraid to talk to others. I don’t mind learning but when I have to sit in rooms with people around me that don’t even see passed to door of the classroom, with lives so shallow my foot wouldn’t even be covered if I stepped in. It disgusts me, I find learning very easy, which is unfortunate because it just gives me more time to sit and think as if I don’t do it enough at home. I feel like a shell and […]
I have always speculated the meaning of my existence, but to no avail. I do not believe that anything has a purpose. There is actions and reactions but the universe has no motifs. Thus I find myself believing there is no reason to live. I don’t think many people talk openly about things like this but I wonder if and I the only one that does. Some people kill themselves from depression or other emotions, but for me its just a rational philosophical view that I do not need to exist. I need some enlightening, 17 is too young to be thinking like this.