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broken angel

about to be 16 and my world is falling tto the ground in flames and i dont know what to do but cutting makes me feel better

i cant pretend anymore

by broken angel
written by broken angel

nothings the same.

nothings the way it used to be.

the way it should be.

everythings falling apart. each day that grown near grows harder. i cant go 2 days without cutting anymore. the thought of death is more comforting then the thought of life.

when they ask me if i want to live i have to think long and hard about it and even then i have no answer. im not as strong as they all make me out to be. i try and i try to be strong enogh but im not. im weak.

i cant pretend anymore. i dont want to wait for death to come but […]

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did i find the real light this time?

by broken angel
written by broken angel

Well i think i might have found the light again….

Ive been talking to this guy and he seams to not want to hurt me like the others he wants to make me feel special…

hes made me want to get better and put down the razor, but im not quit there yet.

im still afraide…. afraide that its all a lie and sooner or later he’ll pull back the curtain and reveal the evil thats in everyone and that he was just playing me or something.

he says he wont and i want to believe him with […]

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lost

by broken angel
written by broken angel

someone once told me

“youe need to be selfless and put on a smile and pretend your ok because everything you do efects the people you love and the people around you”

so thats what ive been doing my entire life hiding my pain my regret my longing everything i dnt smile anymore at least not a real smile or a real laugh

i thought he was the only one who cared because he understood but i guess i was wrong

my parents both told me they didnt want me living with eather of them

yes im lost and i dnt think ill ever be found

im surounded by darkness but i […]

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fellings that come out after a long time

by broken angel
written by broken angel

as i was wrighting a song today all things that i had pushed into a safe and locked it away somewhere to never be opened again….but as soon as i finished they all came flooding back and there was no way to shut then in that safe again…today was the first time i cut in almost 2 months… lately it seams that ive been closer to edge then ever before..its just like that nightmare i have every year on the first day of school… i just ran out of the woods everyones gone whoever was after us got them all im the last one left, […]

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broken ….

by broken angel
written by broken angel

i used to hang on his every word …. he was there for me when i need someone to talk to..when i just needed to have fun and forget get out and leave reality behind even if it wasnt forever … he called me his girl and i thought he was the onky who did want to hurt me….but he did and when i asked why he said “it wasnt the riight words but i didnt care to fix it” that shattered me and that night i fell apart i locked my bedroom door and cried myself to sleep trasing the fresh cuts..

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wonder…

by broken angel
written by broken angel

sometimes i wonder why i even try … i wonder why im here…i wonder why i dont just give up and end it all…ive been juged, critizied, blamed, ect. i wonder why im still here…ive almost died so many times but someone was always there to bring me back,but they dont stay they leave and never come back, and i wonder why they did it if they were just gonna leave me feeling more alone then before,i wonder why i havnt just got my razor and ended it all ……

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