nothings the same.
nothings the way it used to be.
the way it should be.
everythings falling apart. each day that grown near grows harder. i cant go 2 days without cutting anymore. the thought of death is more comforting then the thought of life.
when they ask me if i want to live i have to think long and hard about it and even then i have no answer. im not as strong as they all make me out to be. i try and i try to be strong enogh but im not. im weak.
i cant pretend anymore. i dont want to wait for death to come but i cant leave now.
runingaway always crosses my mind. i just dnt hav anywhere to go or any money to go anywhere.
i cant pretend like everythings ok.
i cant pretend like im fine anymore.
i cant pretend like ill be ok and make it thru this . not this time . not now.
i just cant pretend anymore.
4 comments
your post echoes many of my own thoughts. i do not want to die, but living like this… i cannot go on.
i am sorry that you, and so many others, are in so much pain. i hope in whatever manner, you find peace soon.
I know the feelings. Nothing ever seems to get better and I can’t see why. I also know the feeling of having no escape, I want to run away somewhere else, but that’s an impossibility that I’ve unwillingly come to terms with. I guess I can just wish you luck with whatever you choose to do from here onwards.
i dont think there is much to do just contemplate the next step
this may seem like a general comment,, but it usually does get better. I’ve been lokking back on when I was depressed and suicidal, and I’m glad I held through. Pretending does suck though.
EmM