My depression isn’t a phase for me anymore. Research shows that depression usually lasts around 2-8 months and with help you would recover sooner. I have had depression for over 2 years now and that “phase” isn’t over. I had gotten help for a month, I had been sent to the hospital, and now I’m getting help again. Depression isn’t a phase anymore, it’s pretty much become a part of me. Research also shows that when you have depression psychotherapies sometimes may worsen your depression. I can prove that every time I went to see my therapist, I would hate everything even more, and I […]
It’s no problem to fall in love with someone, but it’s almost impossible for someone to love you back just the same. I hate not knowing if you are lying to me when you say I love you. I can’t tell if you mean it or if this is just another one of you moves or pickup lines. For all I know, you can be with a whole bunch of other people, and doing the same things that you did with me. It drives me crazy, not knowing if you truly love me, when I’m madly in love with you.
It hurts […]
I live a block away from a train station. And I’m constantly thinking about throwing myself on those tracks. I can’t go on with everything that’s happening anymore.
I didn’t go to sleep until 3 in the morning because my mom had called someone to help me about my depression. This is the second time I’m going to get help, and may be going back to the hospital again. There is no way that I’m going back to the hospital, putting me in a room won’t keep me away from the voices in my head.
“If I told you that I was going to die tomorrow, what would you do?”
“I’d make every second of today count to be with you.”
“But isn’t it supposed to be like that everyday?”
What would you do if someone you loved told you they wouldn’t be here tomorrow?
I’m more and more tempted to kill myself everyday but I want it to be in the least painful way possible.
“Please be careful, there have been a lot of psychos around lately”
“Don’t worry I’ll be fine”
*smiles, goes outside, and mumbles*
“Don’t you worry, it’s where I belong, they’re just like me”
The Voices in my head are louder than ever. All the conversations. I’m even starting to talk to them out loud and then people look at me and ask me who I was talking to or what I was talking about.
Most of my classes this year are honors, which means that it’s going to be 2 times harder and 2 times the work. I barely made it through the first week of school, and now my mom wants me to go to a Magnet school (a school that I have to be accepted to depending on my grades and an essay that I have to write. I want to get into that school, because #1 its a great school, and #2 most of the people from my school won’t be there(which is great, a new start with new people). But I keep thinking what would […]
I did not get to sleep last night, I had to write something for school and I’m pretty sure I didn’t get a good grade because I didn’t get to finish. A night of sleep wasted!
Well not entirely wasted it was so quiet and peaceful. I don’t think I’m going to be sleeping often. Maybe I’ll stay up all weekend with no sleep. It’s just so… UGH! I don’t even know how to explain it but I love it!
Today was the first full day at my school and I already have 7 things to do for homework, and I was informed that every week starting on the first day of October I’m going to have to do a project. EVERY WEEK for the whole school year! and by the end of the month I have to take a test based on that project. I’m not going to make it through this year, I might not even make it through this week. I HATE SCHOOL!!!
Ana- Anorexia
Mia- Bulimia
Perry- Paranoia
Annie- Anxiety
Sally- Schizophrenia
Cat- Self Harm
Deb- Depression
Sue- Suicidal
I’m Mia Annie Cat Sue and Deb. who are you?
People keep messing with my feeling and it’s driving me crazy. Then they’re wondering why I’m like this. I’m so over it.
So summer is coming, which is good but at the same time bad. The good thing is I wouldn’t have to go back to school for 2 months, I wouldn’t be as stressed as I have been all this school year. But the bad thing about summer break is that the laptop I have been using is the school’s laptop, so that means I won’t be able to get onto SP as often, and I would have to erase this websiteon the laptop today so they won’t see the site and probably block it. So I hope to be back on soon, I don’t know […]
Okay, so about a month ago I was forced to go to the hospital because I had gotten too suicidal. I had to stay in an empty room for 8 hours. I was supposed to stay there for like a week or two, but I had told my mom that I didn’t want to go back to my therapist because it wasn’t helping and it was making me worse, and after that I told her I was getting online help, being on this website has helped me way more than my therapist. But if I tell her about this site she would want to see […]
Like for real though, do you even want me to be happy? It sure doesn’t seem like it. All you are doing is making me worse. I hope you’re happy, you have made me miserable. It seems like nobody cares about anybody anymore, am I the only one that has noticed this? Nobody is nice anymore, someone can be really hurt, and some would notice it, and what would they do… nothing. I hate my life, and I really don’t even care about anything or anybody too much anymore.
This is just another one of my useless,and stupid posts.
Day one was full of sun
Day two had made it through
Day three was on its knees
Day four didn’t want anymore
Day five never made it out alive
I tired to make it rhyme, didn’t come out so great, but I still liked it. And the weird thing about this poem is that I didn’t even have to think so hard about it, I just wrote what came to mind.
When you read this poem, what were you picturing or thinking of? (Just wondering)
I had to write an essay for one of my teachers and I don’t know what I was thinking when I wrote about my suicide thoughts and my scars. And so now my whole family knows and they are giving me all of the attention, and now I have to go to a therapist. I hate all of the attention, and I hate that now I have a therapist. I hate talking about how I’m feeling to someone face to face. That’s why I talk here, I can talk to all of you and you won’t know who I am what I look like, and […]