This world is not for me. I can not live for myself any longer…Â I simply can’t function.. I taste nothing, feel nothing.. even the love I once had is no more… but yet… I wouldn’t have it any other way… I don’t wish to feel, to taste, to live. My heart that was broken seems no more, it has cost me the hold and control of myself I so desperately need. I must live independently… but it is hardly possible… how much further can i fall? How much more will I take? I still hide with fake emotions.. trying.. for what? The help I’ve tried […]
Well I talked with my ex today, a very heavy conversation… one that (sadly) but also good i guess if the ideal situation is achieved after this point, saved me from myself today. While I didn’t really push or care what her response was, she randomly threw me a bone, the very chance I wished came a lot earlier. Minimal contact for 2 months, and at the end, we will reconvene with different perspectives on where to go from there, i am feeling this is a 50/50 chance right now that it does come with the results i wish. While I am also hating that […]
Here i am, 2 and a half months after i fell back into a deep depression. I am young, tired and now ready to pass on to the certain nothingness. I am to talk with the love of my life in a few hours. The very last time I believe I will hear her pulchritudinous voice… I am a young male with OCD, It had lead to a deep depression several years prior. How you may ask, one word, certainty. I am absolutely absessed with certainty, while nothing in life is certain except death. I can only feel comfort when i am certain, my 2 year relationship […]