I didn’t realize how soon I’d be here with less light. That’s the way of it though, always has been. Perhaps I am a bit bipolar? Who knows? Who cares? Somehow this beautiful day has transformed. Somehow I managed to finally open the bottle of whiskey that’s been closed for months and crank up “Prayers for Rain” on repeat…for the last hour. It’s a great song, one of my favorites from The Cure. Some days though, some days it gets to me. Some days, like today it nudges the floodgates open. I’ve been writing for the last hour or so, I didn’t realize how much […]
I just came across this site this afternoon. It’s actually the exact sort of place I had always looked for before, when the darkness always took over. Any time I googled anything about suicide, it was always for help, for “don’t do it” articles, for getting over depression. I realized somewhere along the way, this isn’t something you “get over”, it is always with us. True, it has been a while (less than a year…which is a very long time for me) since I’ve been there, drowning in that blood-red sea with no sign of hope on the horizon, but it’s still in me. I […]