In an immense amount of pain.. Someone please.. Anyone.
As insignificant as you can get… That’s me.. Hello, my name is worthless
Starting over.. I’ve done it again… I was doing so good but it’s back to this.. When will it end?! I try so hard to understand it all but I can’t.. Nothing makes sense.. Questions forever left with no answers ..
Stolen pride
Stolen innocence
Stolen future
Stolen heart
Stolen mind
Stolen life…
Nothing left..
You can not say I never tried. I cared for you in ways I’ve cared for no one else. You may think all is forgotten, but I will never forget.
You laugh in my face when I tell you how messed up I am?.. When I try to explain why I hurt because you ask what’s wrong with me? No, what is wrong with you?!?! Why laugh at someone who is clearly destroyed inside? Oh, that’s right I forgot I’m nothing but a joke to all that surround me.. I’m sorry I disappoint you. Maybe, one day when you see me cold, blue, and lifeless, you’ll feel a little better about yourself and won’t be so god damn self centered for once… Fuck you too!!! Fuck it all!! Sorry I’m such a fuck up! Done… […]
Empty
Fading
Nothing
Now comes the warm pleasant burn
Drips become trickles
Trickles become waterfalls
Waterfalls become floods
Temporary relief, instant shame
What have I done
I’ve done it again
Always a disappointment
A Bitter sweet sin
Why is this the world I’m stuck in
Daily hell
Nothing but an empty shell
Drown the sorrows
Down another glass
Few more pills, maybe it’ll pass
Completely numb I lay awake
Praying for my soul to take
I HATE night time…. Literally fucking hate it!!!
What am I still doing here?!?!
It makes not since.. Back at one..
You told me I meant so much to you, yet when I try to do something to benefit you because I know if I didn’t do what I did, you’d be in serious trouble… you turn everything around and pin things on me, to make me seem like the bad guy.. I can’t say I don’t have any mistakes, we all do.. But I never do anything to hurt you, and if I have it’s not intentionally.. I have only ever cared for you, more than I think I actually know how to care for myself and my […]
Trembling, tumbling, turning
Down the spiral I go
All these feelings, no one will ever know
Who’s to say this gun won’t blow
Live a day through my eyes
See all the happy little lies
Paranoia sets in, creepy little spies
Voices in my head like pesky demon flies
I can’t escape these dark skies, for all I want is nothing but to die…
Yet again I’m stuck in a shit hole.. Another sleepless night.. Trapped in hell.. All I do is try and try to find answers I know will never appear.. I search and search and dig so deep with nothing but more tears to weep… What’s the point in going on when all you feel you had is gone?… You’ve failed at all you attempted, you never finished anything… There is really no way to become more of a fucking disappointment. I’m sorry that I embarrass you.. I’m sorry you’re ashamed when I’m around.. I’m sorry I have never and will never accomplish anything significant.. I’m […]
Why do I try SO FUCKING HARD, when I know I get NO WHERE!!!! FFUUUUCCCCKK
He’s away right now… So I quickly write my new theory and hopes.. Maybe.. Maybe he’ll get so angry he’ll kill me with his bare hands.. I never thought I’d die by the hands of someone else but myself after the first time but now I’m okay with it all as long as I’m at peace and in a never ending sleep.. Much love
Slowly the hunger sets in burning and eating away at my sorry empty selfish soul… How did I get here… The cold is taking over and yet somehow it’s so comforting… So I’ll lay here in the dark my mind spinning itself into 10,000 tiny knots I can’t unscramble… Fucking get me out of this hell!!! Please I pray he will get so angry that he’ll just decide one day to finish me off with his bare hands… Kill my body like he’s killed my soul.. Please fucking kill me! Kill me now! My burdens will no longer be yours when I’m finally resting in […]
I’m an intrusion and a burden to everyone I have ever knew or anyone I come into contact with… Idk why I get my hopes so high for people to just shit on it all…. It’s not worth it…. Fuck it
Funny how everyone in this world even the ones you think are “close” to you can never read the fake smile… Funny how everyone thinks everything is peachy when really it’s all a living hell!!
Anyone………
The more I sit here in this dark wrecked place I’ve made for myself I wonder why? Why did things work out like this? Why did everything change? Could I have done more? Should I have done less? Should I have begged and pleaded? Why? Why is this all so crazy? What is all this insanity? I’m going insane? I’m dead I’m dying… Why? Why must I have to keep going on? Why can’t I just be released from all this agony?!?! A thousand tears and nothing left to weep.. Now what? Where do I turn? I have nothing.. No one.. Please… I’m so […]
So fucking broken… I quit.. I’m done… Everything I do I fuck up.. I fail.. Everything’s always a lie… Nothing feels right… All hope is gone… I’m a wreck I can not go on…. Help me out of this hell I’m too weak to reach out.. I guess just lay me down.. I’m ready… I’m not afraid to sleep forever …..