Finally figured it out…

Why do you feel this way?

Understood but your probably not as much a burden as you think you are. I feel that way a lot too so I can partially feel your pain. Just know people do love you lots.

You have at least a reason to live. Your son needs you. That’s not selfish in the least. Whatever your situation is with where you will go, there is help out there. It may seem hard to find but do some Google searches for resources in your local area. Having a child will open more doors for you then if you were by yourself. There maybe waiting lists but getting on them will give you a better chance of getting on your feet. If you’re in the USA check out your local department of human services office and see what programs that you may qualify for. Also I am sorry for your loss of your other son. I can’t even imagine the pain that you must feel. I have no kids. Your late son would want you to live on and raise his brother the best you can and he is looking down on you always.

I bet, but your living son needs his mommy. I do suggest if you don’t have a counselor that specializes in trama and grief, try to find one. The easy way may seem just end it, but before you make that decision think of what will happen to your son. Where will he live? Will he be ok? How will he take loosing his mom?
The unknown is a very scary thing. Try to think positive and know with help and time, things can and should improve. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here to listen anytime. If I don’t respond quickly I’m probably asleep.