I genuinely can’t deal with this shit any more. I planned out how when and where a long time ago, I bought all the things I needed at the same time as well ready for when I’d finally had enough of dealing with the shit that is my life! So this is goodbye and a message to say that I hope you all find what you are looking for
I’ve been wondering how people take their minds of what they are feeling, and those thoughts of worthlessness and pain. My own personal ways are punching and beating my legs, in order to leave bruising which hurts to touch, as well as excessive chain smoking. I used to drink a lot but due to my job I can’t really any more which sucks and cutting had to stop as well for the same reason. So how do others take themselves away from the pain and the thoughts in their heads?
I know that somebody posted about this yesterday but I wanted to put my 2 pence in. So a little context about me, I’m gay and I live in England. I’m also mixed race (basically I’m the klu klux klan/BNP/neo nazis worst nightmare) I’ve suffered some serious abuse in the past and lost family due to my sexuality, as well as some extreme racist abuse! What I don’t understand is why people are still both homophobic and racist today! And for that matter sexist and any other ist!
My first annoyance about the abuse is homophobia and the whole ‘its a choice’ bollocks! No it isn’t, […]
I tried this time I really did, but it seems no matter how hard I try I can’t be happy and slip back into depression harder than before. I hide behind a fake smile, I always have, but now I can’t even be bothered to put that mask on anymore. I genuinely tried to change my life and be happy but it hasn’t worked, just like the previous times I’ve tried. Therapy has never worked, pills have never worked and trying to be proactive has never worked. Maybe I’m just broke, but the problem is there doesn’t seem to be a fix. I tried to […]
I’ve made the decision to give myself one last throw of the dice of life. I’ve been feeling really down and suicidal for the past few weeks, yet over the last couple of days things seem to be looking up. I’ve found the strength to say no to the person who was causing my depression, something I’ve not been able to for a while, I’ve started to become pro active in my social life, signing up to play rugby and accepting a few offers of going out from work colleagues. Maybe I’m fooling myself and just prolonging the inevitable but I think having one last […]
Why can I not find the strength to say no to you? Why do I keep letting you in to my life even though I know when you leave it will hurt and destroy me.
Yet again you text me asking to come round and yet again I said yes. I promised myself that I would discuss my feelings and talk to you this time but it didn’t happen. You put on a film and sat there texting all night, whomever it was I don’t know but I caught a glimpse of the message and it hurt me deeply. You then asked if we could go […]
My first post on here after reading the posts for a while.
I let someone in for the first time in years, 11 to be exact, but now I feel worse than ever! I’m 22 and since I was 11 I’ve dealt with feelings of being worthless and being made to feel like I was unwanted, by friends and family and even people I didn’t know. I’ve dealt with being alone for 11 years, I had come to terms with it and even though feelings of depression and suicide would take over from time to time I had found my own ways of dealing with […]