Author

DogCat

What You Put Here

by DogCat 11/12/2019

written by DogCat

I’m just bored. You know?

I knows it sounds stupid, “I want to kill myself because I am bored.”

I also know it is always more to it than that. I have a 4 year degree in psychology.

I want to get my masters, but I have to pay off the state from my previous failed attempt at a Master’s before they will release my transcript and allow me to try again. One of thousands of dollars I owe people.

That’s the thing. I fail at everything. Well, not really. I don’t fail…I quit. I am a quitter.

I just can’t do things. I can’t stick with things. Either chronic […]

11/12/2019 4 comments

Well, At the Risk of Sounding Like a Liar

by DogCat 11/12/2019

written by DogCat

I came back to this site saying I just needed to talk. I wasn’t going to do anything, but I that I did feel like dying again. I have a plan to revisit the issue when I am 50. I don’t want to leave my daughter or my husband. But…

There is always a but…

I’ve been planning again. I’ve been wanting to get my stuff together. Wanting to have everything ready – just in case.

11/12/2019 1 comment

Found My Old Posts

by DogCat 10/23/2019

written by DogCat

It was weird seeing things I wrote 4 years ago. In so many ways, I have come a long way. In so many ways, I have stayed the same.

So I was V.C.333 when I was here before. I have no idea what that name means, or where I got it from. I just went back to the time I was around here before and found the posts.

Things are not as bleak and hopeless as they seemed then. I was on a lot of medication then for fibromyalgia and neuropathy. I went to a new doctor, and she said that before she would see me, I […]

10/23/2019 2 comments

Can’t Talk About Suicidal Thoughts

by DogCat 10/15/2019

written by DogCat

I constantly think about dying – fantasizing. I am 42, and it has been this way as long as I can remember.

I have a daughter and a loving husband. I would never try to kill myself again – not right now. I have said I will revisit the issue when I am 50.

I stay for them, not for myself. My daughter’s dad is selfish and hardly talks to her anymore. He has his own drama filled life. She is only 17.

My husband is kind and understanding. He had a hard time with long-term relationships until we met – nice guy syndrome, I guess.

I can’t leave […]

10/15/2019 3 comments