it’s not easy battling with my own mind everyday..
it’s not easy living with the desire to cease to exist..
it’s not easy thinking about death day in and day out..
DrainedPrincessByRD
it’s been 8 years since I last posted
I’m proud to say I’m no longer drained by RD
Ive overcome it – but not the depression I’ve always struggled with , that existed even before he existed in my life
today was a very tough day, it’s been building up for 10 days now, the sadness, the loneliness.. the unhappiness. I don’t understand where it’s coming from or why it’s so heavy on me today – It does come and go but it’s normally triggered – this time, I can’t find the source..
i cried most of my morning into the afternoon, fighting thoughts about suicide – the many […]
Going to my garage
Turning my car on
Inhaling the co from the tail pipe
100% death
Or
Not?
I don’t need to fail @ this
I wanna make sure I DON’T wake up
Since I was in high school I was in depressive states. I use to cut myself just to watch myself bleed. When I felt depressed I liked to feel the pain. I stopped once I began to see RD.
He was my HS teacher. Three months before my graduation we got involved sexually in school. It continued for now three years.
I would flirt with him before anything occurred by asking him if he missed me. He would say always you know that. Until one day he asked me what’s going to happen when you graduate? Are we going to grow apart? I was surprised and I […]