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Eshie Lena

I am 20, I have lived through suicide and lived through a lot of people I love committing suicide... I am bisexual and love animals.

My Hardest Lesson

by Eshie Lena
written by Eshie Lena

I am not looking for sympathy nor am I looking for it but there was a quote I wrote and this story explains it… I just want people to understand where the quote came from…

Quote:

“My head is banging, my brain complaining, my body hurting, my thoughts are roaring. Pain is all there is. My life is tumbling my emotions are mumbling… God please help me. I don’t know what to do… my fears are living, taking over me. My mouth is tumbling as I try to say goodbye… but, my body can’t take the pressure as the words goodbye slipped from my mouth. You […]

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My life

by Eshie Lena
written by Eshie Lena

Justalvaro this is to you. I live in a very stressful enviroment. From 7 to 16 I was being beaten by my father and my best friends boyfriend would beat me if I did not do what he wanted. And at that same time I was cutting my arms every day to try and forget what was happening. What he wanted was for me to be a pet. I was used to give men and women pleasure for 9 years straight and I would be in a hospital almost all the time. My best friend at 13 who tried to protect me from it died […]

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Kill me

by Eshie Lena
written by Eshie Lena

Lie to me and kill me slowly.
Take the blade out
And shove it through my heart.
Let the blood drip out
And drown me in my own tears.
Kill me tonight because tomorrow…
I won’t be around for you to do it!
Lie to me and kill me tonight.
I want you to be the last thing I see
As you rip out my heart
And fuck it over.
Be just like the rest
And never look back
To see the mess you caused.
Lie to me and kill me slowly.
I want to die at your hands
You had promised me that
Or […]

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I survived it…

by Eshie Lena
written by Eshie Lena

When I was 11 I tried to kill myself for the first time. It was way to easy for me to get a hold of medicine, a gun, razors and poison to kill myself. When I tried the first time I took 15 pills of advil (500 mgs) and went to sleep. I don’t remember why I wanted to but it felt right at the time. Well I woke up the next morning still alive. I was sooo mad I wanted to scream! But I didn’t. Instead I just shrugged it off.

Now my second time trying to kill myself I was 13. I tried to […]

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