eternaldarkness

I literally just got out of the psych hospital last week. And the WHOLE time I was there, I got told “but you look SO HAPPY!” by a million and one fucking morons, like psych doctors, whose literal JOB is to help those who are depressed and suicidal . Despite the fact that I told them I’m depressed AF and tried to get to the roof to jump off. Aaaand NO ONE fucking believed me. Cuz “I look SO happy.”

Yes, fellow SPers, you’ve all read my posts the past year. You all know just how fucking “HAPPY” I am. -_-

These […]

for OTHERS. But not for any of us here on SP. Nope, we are the “lucky” bunch to be afflicted with severe depression. Aren’t we so “lucky?”

I’m sitting here watching “Bizarre Deaths #9.” Add that to the list of murder/death/true crime/morbid shows I watch.

Idk why I like watching that kind of stuff, but I apparently do. Am I a sick puppy? Sometimes it feels like it.

Anyone else into morbid shows/activities? What’s the most morbid thing you’ve watched or done?

-Some ppl do not post- which is fine- I lurk at many other sites- but SP feels so dead- feels like so few ppl post or comment. I would really love for ppl to comment more.
-Also, when ppl do post, sometimes it’s so long it’s hard to follow or read it all or understand the BIG picture (I’m guilty of that too). It seems ppl only read/understand from post to post and not the MAIN issue someone has.

In a few sentences, what is your main issue?
Why are you depressed?

Snow in Saudi Arabia?

~5min

Flooding in Sahara Desert?

~10min

What’s next? The Earth will be on Fire?
Oh wait…that’s already happening. Much of the USA (like CA) is on fire every year.

Seems like we’re going to destroy ourselves pretty soon- WWIII bc everyone in charge are idiots.

I absolutely lament that I was ever fucking born. This is a shit world.

To be happy means you have good things in your life and have things you believe in.

But- What do you do when you don’t believe in anything anymore? When everything told to us since birth has been all LIES?

From as early as childhood- I was taught about the Food Pyramid (now debunked as wrong) and told that is what we must eat to be healthy, that cereal was the best food in the morning (now debunked bc it’s full of sugar and wheat which causes massive health problems), that the Native Americans and the colonists were basically singing kumbaya, sharing Thanksgiving meals […]

Pretty much NOTHING our government (FDA, CDC, FBI, CIA, etc) tells us is true.
Pretty much NOTHING our vulture capitalistic corporations tell us is true.

This shit has been on the shelves for 48 YEARS, since 1976, and just LAST year, they found out these things didn’t really work. Shockingly unshocking. This is what we expect when profit is #1 in the USA. Fuck the truth, right?

And this is relatively “minor” compared to the other shit they’re doing to our food/water/phar.maceutical drugs/etc. This isn’t even a horror story compared to the slew of medical crap they’ve forced unto us.

~3min

Would you rather be delusional but Happy? Or sane, logical, and a realist, but Depressed AF?

Most ppl who are happy are delusional- no reason for being so overly optimistic when all the data points otherwise. BUT, they are happy.

I know this site is anonymous and that’s why everyone’s on it. But…wouldn’t it be curious what we all look like? Like I imagine we all pass each other on the streets, never realizing this person or that person has depression, or is suicidal.

OR on the flip side, see a stranger IRL and automatically know their story, their true self, and not the face they show to the world.

Nothing like screwing ourselves royally, eh?

What if we don’t have the strength to continue (or make the huge necessary changes to our life), but what if we also don’t have the strength to off ourselves either? Stuck in a life of not really living and not dead.

I’m just so exhausted with life…but I don’t want to die not having lived a happy life and not having accomplished anything. If I quit now while I’m miserable, I feel like this stupid shitty universe has “won,” and I can’t have that. I would only live and dig a better life out of spite- like fuck you universe, […]

and I don’t mean death. Imagine if our depression/loneliness/self-hate/guilt/anger/fear/etc all dissipated and we became happy well-adjusted productive members of society? I know, not gonna happen, but…sigh…wishing shooting stars did grant our wishes O_o

Well…technically…shooting stars COULD grant our wish- if our wish was for Earth to get obliterated. 🙂

Organs nearly taken from living man

~3min

1- NEVER just blindly trust a dr or nurse- hospitals and drs and staff lie to patients ALL the time. Either they intentionally lie, or they’re just incompetent AF. And 100% don’t care.
2- It’s not like drs are ever wrong, are they? *sarcasm*
3- The ENTIRE staff (slews of drs and nurses and attendants) just flat out IGNORED the “brain-dead” guy thrashing around and trying to push ppl’s hands away from cutting him open. JFC.
4- Sure the hospital staff was either evil or stupid af, or both, but NO ONE is blaming the […]

Oh but I WOULD.

People who say that haven’t been screwed enough by someone.

Is it better to be intensely depressed and hateful of people and hateful of this world, or is it better to cut off all your emotions and feel apathy?

Go ahead- Name something “good” about this shitty world. What have you come up with?

Almost everything “nice” or “good” you can think of generally requires someone to have money to be able to enjoy it- even a “nice walk” in nature. If you live in a shitty neighborhood, there’s no “nice walk.” It’s all garbage and crap around you. ESP where I am currently. And ESP if you live in the city. Trust me, if there were nice areas nearby for me to walk, I would be out more often instead of holed up inside this shithole.

There’s good food, […]