eternaldarkness

Are people here also disappointed in “online friendships”? You think you get along well with someone online, maybe even chatting for months. Then they suddenly ghost you, or maybe they were never good friends with you to begin with and you find out just how little you mean to them. Online “friendships” disappear faster than an ice cream cone on a hot summer day.

But then again, it’s not like I make many friends in person either… -.-

Why TF is it still 90 FUCKING degrees here in this goddamn shitty city? I HATE where I am at. It’s been fucking disgusting ALL summer, the most miserable 4 fucking months. It’s fucking SEPTEMBER FFS. It shouldn’t still be so hot and humid and disgusting in SEPTEMBER!! For me, there’s health issues so it’s not just oh I don’t like summer. It super aggravates me skin condition and I can’t walk outside at all. Not to go get food, nothing. Even indoors is disgusting bc my POS AC is utter crap. UGHHHHHH.

I HATE my fucking life […]

For those of us with childhood abuse and/or neglect, are we just doomed for life? I mean sure, many ppl can continue to work and go through the motions of “life,” but how many of us damaged folks will actually live a HAPPY fulfilled life, free from our internal angst and inner turmoil?

ESPECIALLY those of us with severe childhood mental/physical abuse and neglect? Those with less abuse and neglect might be able to lead perfectly decent lives, but those who experienced severe abuse and trauma- do any of us really have a chance? I don’t think so. I’ve talked […]

Here comes AI to take all our jobs away and make humans obsolete.
And not everyone sees AI as a problem? “I’ve been programmed for good”…yeah, and all it takes is for someone to hack or program in something nefarious. Like everything doesn’t get hacked these days.

~6min

That’s what my mother has always been, and will always be. WHY was I so stupid to not realize she’s the same old evil ***** who had abused me my whole childhood? What an idiot to think she’s changed or gotten better now that she’s old. She’s still the same lying manipulating ***** she always was. All she does is fucking lie to me and treat me like absolute dirt. I can’t fucking stand her. It’s been absolute HELL the second I got here.

Shitty ppl never change.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/iEi_V4XtNi0
~30s clip

Life has been ABSOLUTE MISERY since the LITERAL DAY I moved here. Folks, do NOT ever move in with your selfish fucked up mom who never cared much about you growing up. WHY was I stupid enough to move back here? Bc I had nowhere else to go (thanks to SISTER who fucking made me give up my rent controlled apt) and bc I thought it would be a separate “studio” so it would be separate from her place and that it would be renovated.

Little did I know, that ONLY PARTS of the bathroom and kitchen would be renovated, and the rest […]

My idiot mother 1- hired a shit contractor 2- never checked the work of the shit contractor and 3- tries to either blame ME for all the shit that went wrong OR doesn’t ADMIT that there’s a FUCKING PROBLEM.

Since DAY1 of my moving in here, the toilet, sink and shower has been nonstop leaking, idiot gets called to fix it, he comes SIX TIMES, and STILL hasn’t fixed the leak in the sink. Took him THREE times to fix the shower leak. He never fixed the toilet that was sucking water from the bowl into the tank, almost like a half-flush it […]

Part of the reason why SO many ppl have depression/low wages/shit lives is bc there’s just too many damn ppl in this world!! I remember growing up and when it hit 5B ppl, we were like, OMG it’s so overcrowded, panic panic panic. And now fast-forward to 2023 and ppl are making MORE babies than ever WTF.

8B ppl now. All fighting for the same resources. All fighting for the same jobs. All competing for the same shit wages.

8B ppl means overcrowding. Means TONS of pollutions. Means cities are chock full of ppl, everyone on top of […]

~21min

huh…this is interesting…
Williams syndrome

Never heard of this condition till I came across this video today.

Great video
~12min

A mother of a son who committed suicide who ACTUALLY understands depression and doesn’t blame him for killing himself.

“Don’t ask why suicide? Ask why the pain.”

WHY is it so HARD to find a Chronic Illness Group that also lets us talk about Depression/Suicide?

They literally go hand in hand. There are TONS of Depression Groups- but they don’t allow us to talk about suicide or even non-happy thoughts. And there’s tons of Chronic Illness Groups and I *KNOW* ALL these mofo’s ALL feel depression too, but we’re not allowed to mention depressive thoughts or post too sad things. How does that even make sense?

It’s not like NOT talking about it makes depression go away.
It’s not like PRETENDING it doesn’t exist makes everything fine and […]

Lack of sleep.

Just ONE night of sleeping 4 hours leads to a 70% reduction in immune cells that fight off cancer.
Just ONE night, let alone the thousands of nights I don’t sleep ever since the car accident.
Well FUCK. Just FUCK.
Now I have to worry about slowly dying of fucking cancer. Goddamnit.

FUCK FUCKITY FUCK.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/YSLkedZZgSc
~1min

The sick just get sicker.
Life is just endless pain for me.

I was actually going to post this before Lonewolf’s post, but didn’t get around to it last night. So here it is:

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/jEkocsK9KxU
~1min

So people who regularly drink have an INCREASE in cortisol release from their adrenal glands even when they are NOT drinking. How interesting and crazy that is. Pretty big shocker when I saw the video yesterday.

I don’t drink but for those who do…

to watch? thought provoking?

idk, i like dark but well made stuff- like Dexter, Death Note, Penny Dreadful. True Crime. Death. Twist endings (yes i know, Dexter had a crap ending). Revenge shows, sci-fi, supernatural. But I guess it’s not about the genre. Some shows are just better done than others.

Most of the stuff I like is more obscure and less popular with the general public (but giving examples of popular ones ofc so you get an idea).

idk, i’m bored with all the same ol’ crap out there.

Q-“So are you brave, or do you find this quite easy?”
A- “Both. I think I am brave, and because I am brave, I find everything that I do quite easy.”

@1:07

Damn, I wish I had that girls’ confidence.

Being brave requires confidence, so I guess really what she is saying is if you have confidence in yourself, everything you do in life becomes easier, which I kind of agree with. When I HAD the confidence, I never thought of how difficult things were to accomplish to do. I just did it bc I “knew” I could do it and never worried about […]

There isn’t a “good” place I can go given my health issues and lack of money. The better safer more modern cities that have good healthcare are in SE Asia for expats, and I can’t live there bc of the heat and humidity.

Even 3rd world is not easy without a lot of money. Usually the cheaper the cost of living, the harder it is for a westerner to live in, bc it doesn’t have all the “basic” things we have grown accustomed to here. Like reliable and fast internet. Online banking. Online ordering/delivery. Safe drinking water. Even paved […]

Should I Expat to? One where the

1- cost of living is low,
2- weather is not hot and not humid
3- there’s enough American/British expats where the local country is ok to get by speaking English or where things are semi-tailored to westerners (like shops, health stuff etc).

I can’t do hot and humid climates, so Central America and SE Asia are out. Unless there are cities there that aren’t hot and humid. Just the climate excludes the best cheapest and modern places to expat to. But humidity is my nemesis so I just can’t.

I had originally thought Ecuador […]

How do you get out of a shitty situation when you do not have the HEALTH nor the MONEY to get out of it?

I absolutely need to move out of mom’s shitty filthy house. I am pissed I was conned into moving here and now that I’m here, I’m stuck.

It’s a fucking catch 22. Being in mom’s filthy place got me even sicker- I was already sick to begin with. Anyhow, now that I’m 100x sicker, I don’t have the health to leave. I want to expat to a 3rd world country where it’s cheaper. But […]

Normal people obviously can’t relate to us. Only those in our situations can. SP is a place where we can all relate to depression/suicide and can talk openly. Which is a nice thing and something sadly lacking in 99% of all online or IRL spaces. BUT we all have our own different issues. What afflicts me is not what afflicts others on here. Say for example chronic illness. Or the other myriad health problems I have. Or financial problems. Or age.

There’s a good chunk of people here who are in HS/College/Very young who aren’t […]