eternaldarkness

I’m wondering if most of us here feel like we’re failures/losers/lagging behind everyone else?

It sure is the case for me- I was on the up and up- did everything I needed to- and then…lost my confidence, reeled into depression, lost more confidence, reeled into worse depression, leading to losing more confidence, leading to a bottomless pit of depression.

I fucked up- I shouldn’t have quit back then- I haven’t been able to pick myself up since. And I had a slew of shit happen since then, which wouldn’t have happened had I not made the fateful mistake/decision.

Yes I know, none of us have […]

After decades of being screwed in life, and especially by shitty people, I now HATE 90% of all humans. Well, mainly all the people I’ve encountered and interacted with IRL.

BUT- random strangers like annoying fucking kids screaming or running wild all over the place also annoy TF out of me, and ESPECIALLY the shitty parents who don’t give AF.

I get easily annoyed by random strangers like above, or ppl yapping loudly on their phone while on the bus/train and you can’t escape it.

The whole world annoys TF out of me. I wonder what % of ppl are like me, like this? […]

I literally just got out of the psych hospital last week. And the WHOLE time I was there, I got told “but you look SO HAPPY!” by a million and one fucking morons, like psych doctors, whose literal JOB is to help those who are depressed and suicidal . Despite the fact that I told them I’m depressed AF and tried to get to the roof to jump off. Aaaand NO ONE fucking believed me. Cuz “I look SO happy.”

Yes, fellow SPers, you’ve all read my posts the past year. You all know just how fucking “HAPPY” I am. -_-

These […]

for OTHERS. But not for any of us here on SP. Nope, we are the “lucky” bunch to be afflicted with severe depression. Aren’t we so “lucky?”

I’m sitting here watching “Bizarre Deaths #9.” Add that to the list of murder/death/true crime/morbid shows I watch.

Idk why I like watching that kind of stuff, but I apparently do. Am I a sick puppy? Sometimes it feels like it.

Anyone else into morbid shows/activities? What’s the most morbid thing you’ve watched or done?

-Some ppl do not post- which is fine- I lurk at many other sites- but SP feels so dead- feels like so few ppl post or comment. I would really love for ppl to comment more.
-Also, when ppl do post, sometimes it’s so long it’s hard to follow or read it all or understand the BIG picture (I’m guilty of that too). It seems ppl only read/understand from post to post and not the MAIN issue someone has.

In a few sentences, what is your main issue?
Why are you depressed?

Snow in Saudi Arabia?

~5min

Flooding in Sahara Desert?

~10min

What’s next? The Earth will be on Fire?
Oh wait…that’s already happening. Much of the USA (like CA) is on fire every year.

Seems like we’re going to destroy ourselves pretty soon- WWIII bc everyone in charge are idiots.

I absolutely lament that I was ever fucking born. This is a shit world.

To be happy means you have good things in your life and have things you believe in.

But- What do you do when you don’t believe in anything anymore? When everything told to us since birth has been all LIES?

From as early as childhood- I was taught about the Food Pyramid (now debunked as wrong) and told that is what we must eat to be healthy, that cereal was the best food in the morning (now debunked bc it’s full of sugar and wheat which causes massive health problems), that the Native Americans and the colonists were basically singing kumbaya, sharing Thanksgiving meals […]

Pretty much NOTHING our government (FDA, CDC, FBI, CIA, etc) tells us is true.
Pretty much NOTHING our vulture capitalistic corporations tell us is true.

This shit has been on the shelves for 48 YEARS, since 1976, and just LAST year, they found out these things didn’t really work. Shockingly unshocking. This is what we expect when profit is #1 in the USA. Fuck the truth, right?

And this is relatively “minor” compared to the other shit they’re doing to our food/water/phar.maceutical drugs/etc. This isn’t even a horror story compared to the slew of medical crap they’ve forced unto us.

~3min

Would you rather be delusional but Happy? Or sane, logical, and a realist, but Depressed AF?

Most ppl who are happy are delusional- no reason for being so overly optimistic when all the data points otherwise. BUT, they are happy.

I know this site is anonymous and that’s why everyone’s on it. But…wouldn’t it be curious what we all look like? Like I imagine we all pass each other on the streets, never realizing this person or that person has depression, or is suicidal.

OR on the flip side, see a stranger IRL and automatically know their story, their true self, and not the face they show to the world.

Nothing like screwing ourselves royally, eh?

What if we don’t have the strength to continue (or make the huge necessary changes to our life), but what if we also don’t have the strength to off ourselves either? Stuck in a life of not really living and not dead.

I’m just so exhausted with life…but I don’t want to die not having lived a happy life and not having accomplished anything. If I quit now while I’m miserable, I feel like this stupid shitty universe has “won,” and I can’t have that. I would only live and dig a better life out of spite- like fuck you universe, […]

and I don’t mean death. Imagine if our depression/loneliness/self-hate/guilt/anger/fear/etc all dissipated and we became happy well-adjusted productive members of society? I know, not gonna happen, but…sigh…wishing shooting stars did grant our wishes O_o

Well…technically…shooting stars COULD grant our wish- if our wish was for Earth to get obliterated. 🙂

Organs nearly taken from living man

~3min

1- NEVER just blindly trust a dr or nurse- hospitals and drs and staff lie to patients ALL the time. Either they intentionally lie, or they’re just incompetent AF. And 100% don’t care.
2- It’s not like drs are ever wrong, are they? *sarcasm*
3- The ENTIRE staff (slews of drs and nurses and attendants) just flat out IGNORED the “brain-dead” guy thrashing around and trying to push ppl’s hands away from cutting him open. JFC.
4- Sure the hospital staff was either evil or stupid af, or both, but NO ONE is blaming the […]

Oh but I WOULD.

People who say that haven’t been screwed enough by someone.