screamintothevoid.com
Go ahead.
You know you want to.
Type all the shit you want to say but can’t actually say in real life in there.
You’re welcome. 😛
I have been yelled at for “breathing too loud.”
I have been yelled at for “chewing too loud.”
I have been punched for walking into a room.
I have been punished for the rare occasion of having a smile on my face.
I have been beaten countless number of times for absolutely no reason.
I have been told I’m not their child but was “found in a garbage can.”
I have been told every day that I’m worthless.
I have been told every day that I’m a useless piece of shit.
I have been hated since birth.
All I know is hate and anger and jealousy […]
I’ve never had a birthday party.
I’ve never went trick-or-treating.
I’ve never had an Easter egg hunt.
I’ve never had a Christmas tree or had presents underneath a tree.
I’ve never had a “tooth fairy” put anything under my pillows.
Simple little things above I’ve never had.
I am now in my mid-30s.
I’ve never had a childhood.
I’ve never known happiness.
I’ve never known love.
for either depression or physical health? Like vitamin injections, for example. Or St John’s Wort. Something along those lines and
not the following:
-take a walk
-take a vacation
-get a pet
-volunteer
-go out
-make some friends
-obvious shit
-etc.
Like Vitamin B shots, Myers Cocktail, IV therapy, etc?
Edit- for health reasons, not depression.
or care.
No matter how much you explain, they just don’t get it. Whether it’s trying to explain depression or a chronic illness.
When you try to explain depression, it’s “oh, have you thought about just going for a walk or watching a funny movie?” Yes, because all you need is a funny movie and depression is magically gone. Whala! Or go for the infamous “walk.” Because all you need is a little walk to the park and bam! No depression no more.
When you try to explain how you’re always sick, and it doesn’t get better, people say […]
If only it were indeed painless. And easy to accomplish.
I honestly don’t have any reason to live, other than watching good movies and eating forbidden foods I shouldn’t be eating. I would off myself if I had a good reliable way to go. But since I don’t, I’m forced to live. I’m sick (physically), lots of health problems, I’m middle-age so I shouldn’t be sick but I am. And it’s only going to get worse over time. Anyway, I have no family, friends. My only “friend” is the internet and that’s where I spend all my time. Pretty sad, yes.
I don’t have any reason to live. […]
Ugh, 17 days later and I finally did what I was supposed to have done on 9/29/17. It was something I didn’t want to do and involved translating and finding a notary in another city who could speak another language. It turned out not to be that hard, took me about 2 hours to do it today. But I could’ve done it over 2 weeks ago but I didn’t. I avoided it and procrastinated and procrastinated.
So I did try to do part 2- search for a notary on google back then- but the search results were crap. I spent another […]
I wasn’t even hungry. I only ate 1 meal today and wasn’t hungry, but my brain said “you should eat more than 1 meal a day.” (I normally munch on food throughout the entire day).
So I decided I ought to eat dinner. But then I had the sushi AND a giant plate of faux chicken and vegetables, which is literally whole 2 meals. And I ate it all. And now I am so stuffed I feel like puking. Like literally feel sick. Why did I just do that to myself?? I couldn’t just wait to […]
Let’s play word association. What do you think about when you think of the word “suicide”? In 1-2 words.
What comes to my mind:
-Peace
-The End
-Necessary
-[fill in the blank]
So I slept only 2-3 hours last night after ingesting the stupid “burn blend” pills. Well, my usual amount of sleep these days is only 4-5 so I guess it’s not that much better. I took those pills in the afternoon too, not even like I took them at night. I thought it would wear off by nighttime. I did calm down a bit by then but not completely. Even now it’s still a little there.
Crap. I took some (natural) Burn Blend capsules I had. It didn’t say it had caffeine in the list of ingredients but it must’ve had something because I’m all jittery right now. That’s the only new thing I took today. What natural thing can I take to calm the jitteriness? It’s crazy two little pills can cause such an immediate effect. I don’t normally take anything other than supplements. I don’t even drink coffee. It feels like a red bull (took that once, never again), except instead of energizing, it’s just making me all jittery and heart […]
2017 hurricane season is about to break it’s 124-year-old record.
Tropical Storm Ophelia is about to become Hurricane Ophelia.
When that happens, it will be the 10th hurricane in a row.
The last time there were 10 hurricanes in a row, it was in 1893.
Not to mention the GIANT earthquake in Mexico last month.
Plus several smaller quakes still going on. They just had a smaller one 3 days ago.
And now wildfires are ravaging California.
There have been lots of fires in CA and everywhere lately, but this one is pretty bad.
And global warming is still a hoax to some dumb schmucks. […]
I wonder what percentage of SPers are on the internet all the time? 99%? I for sure am.
Hm, I wonder if there are IA meetings and if not, there ought to be one lol
These are my bad habits
-Eating (ofc it’s usually junky food)
-Always on the Computer (bad for eyes)
-Playing games on my tablet (bad for eyes)
-Doing Nothing- not getting things done, lethargy, lack of motivation
-Staying in and avoiding humans
I want to be different, but it’s just more comfortable being alone than being around bad people.
I want to be more active, but most of everything is bullshit, so I see no point of doing them.
Yesterday:
-spent 2 hours cleaning the bathroom (sink, toilet, tub) and kitchen floor
-spent 3 hours organizing files, mostly pics from my phone, consolidating files as my laptop crashed a few months ago
Today:
-spent 30 min throwing out paperwork
-spent 1 hr getting rid of stuff in fridge + getting rid of items to donate
-spent 1 hr consolidating files
-spent 4 hours doing Laundry (only 3 loads, and yes, it takes me that long) 🙁
-Vacuumed
Drank 1/2 bottle of veg juice
Ate 1/2 of a cucumber
And oddly don’t feel hungry
Bear in mind I am semi-disabled so doing anything is strenuous and hard […]
So stressed out.
I feel like vomiting.
Goddamn liars. The people who own the apt complex are assholes. They always lie about inspections and never give you enough time.
3 weeks ago, they put notices on our doors with a notice to enter unit with the reason being “to show perspective buyers.” But no one came that day. Then last Friday, at 5PM, they put a another notice on our doors saying the same thing, notice to enter unit for the purpose of “showing the apt to perspective mortgagees.” The notice said it would be between Monday- Wed. Because no one showed up 3 weeks ago and […]
What’s the very first website you check in the morning?