The utility of this platform to convey inner thoughts and true emotion is unmatched. I can express myself even though I’m talentless. Look let me skip the formalities of how I usually write and just get to it. I feel guilty. I was reading the first post on SP (this was approximately 1 month ago) and I realized this is a website where you’re supposed to share experiences of suicide. Anything else is viewed as unnecessary. I’ve only posted here a few times, but most of my pieces do not spare detail. But never have I wrote about my suicide attempts, nor do I plan […]
Let me ask you a question. Do we like being miserable? I am writing a post on a suicide website. How does that strike the average individual? Obviously there is no such thing as an average individual. Members of this simulacrum of grief, of this meeting place of agony, come from very diverse and varied backgrounds. Some may get help and move on. I’m willing to bet a small percent have actually killed themselves. But why does any of this matter? Well nothing matters. You have seen a person on their last day. What does a person on their last day look like? Usually unremarkable. […]
Gee I wonder what it will be like going back to school after an entire summer of no socialization. I theorize that it’s always been this way. Elders say today’s generation have no respect, and teenagers feel like no one understands them, they feel jaded and unique to the crowd. I wonder if I appear to other people as just another bumbling fuckhead, unaware of the inevitable. I think we all just put on fake smiles and think to ourselves how awful and stupid everyone else is. Friends are essentially accepted societal masochism. The only one I hate more then you is myself.
I had an awful meeting with my doctor, but for some reason I feel much much better now. Adrenaline has taken over my body. I will probably crash later, but I feel fucking amazing right now.
I sit still awake at 11 am. The sun briefly hits my pale, pasty skin. My body aches, I am in excruciating agony. My pain threshold is finite, but it has been growing over the years. However, when the pain exceeds this mark, as it does daily, I am no longer competent. I cannot think clearly, I cannot do anything that requires thought. I wait. That’s the only thing I can do. There is no awareness, there is no relief, and there is no reason. Just pure unadulterated pain. I feel like a junkie, I have lost interest in everything and everybody, and I cannot […]
An Overall Feeling Of Untapped Anger Ludicrous Expression Of My Burning Nauseous Stomach And Dissociation That Pierces My Soul And The Lust Of The Universe A Sedated Feeling Of Sorrow Contempt And Hatred Low Octave Starvation And Slow Sweet Whispers Of Foreboding.
I’ve lost it. I’ve gone completely insane. I had stuff here, now it’s gone. Maybe it’s for the best. Maybe it never happened. I have a hard time thinking. It’s impossible not to sound like a whiny, punk ***** when I try to explain my situation. I come off as pretentious, hypocritical and mean-spirited. Maybe I am. Sorry for the spam, but I just […]