im weak. people see this.. they feed off this… people are not good. deep down no one really understands anyone else’s problems… or cares. deep down everyone judges and condemns. deep down everyones a vulture.. feeding off the weak, and not so deep down, life’s a *****.
i constantly find my self hating everyone around me. i pick everything apart until there is no body i like, and i turn myself into a very bitter person. but do i just hate them because they have somthing i dont have? do i just have such a gelous personality that if someone is better/more liked/prettier than me i hate them to pieces. i am a monster. oh my god!
at the moment 2 f my best friends barely talk to me because there so pre-occupied with this other girl they’ve both decided they love all of a sudden… she had no friends last year, and […]
i cannot deal with it. i try all the time to be this strong, careless individual, i like people to think that i am so self confident that nothing can bring me down, but in turn, people feel like no matter how mean they are to me, it wont hurt me. but it does. it aches. and the vague humour that used to exist has vanished and now im just finding there is no one i can turn to. someone told me the today that my birthday was coming up in a few days and i almost fell to the ground and cried. not about […]
you know how people say you have to be alive to feel, and there fore commting suicide solves nothihng because you cant feel that relief you so desperatly desire, well i say fuck it! surely to feel nothing is better to feel like how i do every day. why is death so bad, if its less painful than life? plus, id rather be a black hole of emptyness than just feel like one. who can judge and critisize you when your dead?
i just need to get my feelings out in the open! i hate my life. like you know, theres the good days, but what a good day worth if it takes 100 bad days to get there? i used to have everything. i had all the friends in the world, i was smart, i did well, i always had fun, i had confidence, now i struggle with all and any work, and am failing everything, i have friends, but no consistent ones, and none like i used to have. but the friends i used to have, have finally forgotten about me, i tried staying in […]
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