Hello, my name is Mary Beth. I am Christopher’s (help wanted’s) mother. I have thought about coming here for a long time, and finally decided that it is the right thing to do. I was worried that you people would be wondering where he is. I wanted you all to know that he will not be coming back onto this website. My son took his own life some time ago. But I just wanted to personally thank each and every one of you for taking the time to be there for him. He spent lots of time on here and I know that your words meant the world to him. […]
Friday. My 1st day back at school after being in the hospital all week for a failed suicide attempt. This really “popular” girl walked up to me in the lunch line. The line extends out into the middle of the cafeteria. I was at the back of this huge line in the middle of the packed cafeteria. She walked right up to me and asked me to homecoming. She is one of those girls that knows that she’s hot. You know? So obviously I wanted to respond like any hormone crazed 16 year old guy.
The initial reaction in my head:Â ME!? Hell yea!!!
I just smiled, trying to think of what […]
Lights off. Ears plugged. Doors locked. Notes placed. Water running. Blade cutting. Perfect. All according to plan.
Lights fading. Consciousness slipping. Room spinning. Parents sleeping. Blood pouring. Finally. Time to go.
No more. The End. Black. Infinite black. Peace. Calm. Eternity.
Then noise. Faint. Distant. A hum. A buzz. Audible only because it it the only sound in the beautiful void.
The hum won’t stop. Won’t go away. Won’t leave me alone. I have to find out what it is. What is it anyway!? Look around. Just black.
Wait, I didn’t look around. I couldn’t. There is only black. Maybe if I open my eyes. Then I could find the source […]
Well today’s the day. Sunday. The plan was to end my life tonight. Leaving a couple different notes addressed to different people. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time. Planning since the beginning of the school year, which started August 27, the day before my birthday. The plan was to wait until after my parents went to sleep, then go do it. My method is not the most preferred method out there, in fact many people hate it and think it’s like THE WORST one. But I have my reasons and I have tried twice before, failing obviously. Waking up in a hospital room surrounded […]
You walk by me as I sit, unnoticed, in the secluded corner of the school. You came with her to have some alone time. Understandable. You saw me in the very spot you wanted to be. You wouldn’t have that. You tell me to move. I’m still in shock that someone is talking to me. You get no response from me. You grab me by what would be the collar of my jacket if it had one. You tell me again to move. But I’m sick of being pushed around. Sick of letting people like you decide how I feel and what I do. “Make […]
That’s the question that makes me sick.
When I hear that question i want to kill whoever asked.
I don’t know how to make it any more obvious.
Do I need to put highlighter on my cuts?
Do I need to wear a sign that says “Suicidal”?
Or should i just make an announcement to everyone?
Because no matter how many times they ask,
The answer doesn’t change.
It was a no yesterday, and it’s a no today.
And guess what, tomorrow it will still be a no.
So quit reminding me that my life is shit.
If you have to ask someone if they are alright,
The answer is no.
…..
Now do me a favor please?
Ask me if […]
Who am i?
All of you are thinking it.
“Who is that kid?
The one that killed himself,
I think I’ve seen him before,
But I’m not sure.”
Let me put your minds at ease.
You have all seen me.
Ive always been here.
I’m the kid in the back seat of the class.
I’m the kid that you see eating lunch alone in the hall.
I’m the kid you whisper about as you walk by.
The kid that teachers never punish.
Because they’re scared of me too.
I’ve always been there,
Watching, silently.
Its funny that after only one year,
I’ve already developed my final opinions of you.
There are those of you out there that can rest easy.
My death is not […]