If I killed myself right now, everyone around me would laugh.
I just need the right time.
My mother is literally a few paces away. If I went and told her right now that I am planning to kill myself, she will take me to a mental hospital. I could tell her.
But I won’t.
I have letters to write and grades to make. It’s not time yet. I’ll hold on a little bit longer. I have to follow my plan.
I’m starting on my letters. There are a lot, but I have a lot of goodbyes I’ll never get to set face to face.
And the sad thing is…. I actually want to live.
I’m still alive but I’m barely breathing.