Scatter Shot

Animals have emotions like Humans; They fear death, cherish life and love their offspring just as much.

I wish for peace and prosperity to all…and also for the animals to enter the realm of eternal bliss.

Most of us here have no control over the way we live, but to a certain degree we have control over the way we die.  Regardless if it’s in a morbidly brutal fashion with piles of blood and flesh projected and splattered – I preferred if I was nowhere to be found and not to be identified. Just a corpse under the bottom of the sea. The only good thing that I can do for the planet is having my useless carcass be compost and recycled back to nature.

Waiting for the right moment….

Going through countless cycles of watching others pain on Youtube and yet through […]

Do I really want to die? Or do I just want a piece of Heaven on Earth? To be in comfort and stress free, to have enough money to take care of those I love and to contribute to others, that they also have peace and prosperity. I have nothing and yet Buddhism expounds nothingness, I don’t want nothingness I want something-ness. My ideals torture my reality.  My fate affected my fortune. What if I kill myself and have the unfortunate luck of having to relive this bane existence over until I accept and fully live out this cruel experience.

Every distressful thought have now given […]

I’ve become a vegetarian as a form of penance, don’t know how long it’s going to last. I’ve been looking at pictures of baby animals online. I feel guilty..I just count the days I don’t eat meat as a triumph. although right now I can’t eat anything at all, I lost my appetite,  I can’t sleep, I’ve been drinking every second day.. only 4 beers but still I hate relying on it. I hate being poor and having no job prospects. I want to live as a herder in Mongolia with a few Yaks to keep me company and feed me dairy products. I don’t […]

Believe it when I say tried to kill myself.

I caught a plane to Vietnam on the 15th of May 2020 – the plan was to have a good ..meal..have some decent sex then end it with a gun shot wound as I would be using the little savings I had left for a pleasurable time then go out with a bang. Unfortunately it was not meant to be. My Visa got approved online but upon arrival at the international Vietnamese airport they retracted granting people Visas because of the Corona Virus. Me and 20 other nationals from Russians to Canadians were returned back to our […]