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Agree to Disagree

by Scatter Shot

Are you dead yet?. Cause I am, I’ve been dead on the inside for as long as I can remember but the sad truth is that I don’t want to die. I want to be alive so to live and smell the sweet aromatic fragrance of flowers and the fresh air above the mountain peaks…Where can I go to find solace? Is there any place on earth that I can just move to? How do I exist in a new land? Am I going to conform or rebel?

Or maybe the sanctuary is within me, my bodily temple that I’ve neglected to appreciate.

Shall I seek revenge if the opportunity ever arises? I will have to extinguish all aggression that intrudes upon my tranquility so not to live in regret. It’s a competitive world, you have to fight for just to live in peace..

Who was I before I was born? Who am I after I’m born? Who will I become after I die?

For now it doesn’t matter I guess….I am what I am… so I avoid what I hate and try to enjoy what little I have.

 

 

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boskobay 8/16/2020 - 1:26 pm

I have been Dead and Gone for a sometime now, my Heart Died and turned to stone, my Mind is Gone and so Insanity now Consumes me. I am just a ghost an empty shell, a vessel nothing more than just skin and bones.

I’ve been contemplating the same thing and joke about finding a island somewhere to call home. There are commune in the U.S. and im sure theres some in other countries too. I am in a similar situation and am yearning for something to change. Its becoming harder and harder to carry on acting like I belong. I feel so out of place and abnormal in so many ways, just a weirdo dancing alone in the rain. I’m a “Lost Boy” searching for my Neverland with no direction on how to get home so like a Ghost I just roam this world alone.

I do think that there is a inner sanctuary the exists within us while we are on this plain of existence, but when we leave this world we leave everything behind. Earth is not my home and I feel like i’m a traveler that got stuck here and has now become a prisoner. I therefore am stuck in survivor mode and I treat everyday as a battlefield, always ready to rage war on anyone who threatens what’s left of my life. I am ready to lay my life on the line, not afraid to die. Like a Gladiator walking into the Colosseum I welcome the opportunity to die in Battle. That would be a Glorious Death! I also regularly think about who or what I was before I was born into this world. I also constantly am trying to figure what I have become, because I don’t recognize the person I see in the mirror as me. Its whatever though at this point though like you said “I am what I am” and I just do what I can to make it through another day without more pain added to my plate…

Your ICE DJ image really spoke to me on many levels. Can I ask why you choose to upload that image?

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