Author

hurting

Will it ever go away?

by hurting 5/27/2013

written by hurting

Seriously, will this pain go away? When will the poison that invaded my mind disappear?

I have constant flashbacks of when I almost killed myself, and the events leading up to it. I can’t sleep, and my appetite has decreased. I don’t get it. Things were finally looking up, and I thought I had made it, and that I was free.

I couldn’t be more wrong. I still feel all the pain, and I don’t get it.

I read everyone’s posts, and I tell myself that I have no reason to feel this way, but no matter how much I beat myself about how great my life is, […]

5/27/2013 6 comments

It’s happening again.

by hurting 4/8/2013

written by hurting

I thought my depression was gone; then reality bitched slapped me in the face.
Had a real shitty day today, found out my SAT scores weren’t high enough, made a fool out of myself in my language class, and got into a fight with my mom.

I feel like a failure, like all that I worked for is falling down the drain. I feel helpless.
I wanted to throw myself from the car on the expressway today, but was too much of a coward to do it.

I feel lost. I just want it to end. If life is just gunna do this my whole life, I […]

4/8/2013 8 comments

Attacks

by hurting 3/29/2013

written by hurting

The attacks from my own mind happen all the time:
Before I go to bed
When I do my homework
When I see my friends, all talking, no awkward scilence, looking so happy without me.
Now they have migrated to the classroom.
In biology (my class has 9 people) they happen.

I feel useless,
Pain,
Agony beyond belief.
I feel as if I am drowning, and there is no light, no better day tomorrow.
The sun won’t come out tomorrow, the pain will never leave,
I will forever be a burden.

I go to the back of the lab stations, and I curl up in […]

3/29/2013 1 comment

Alone

by hurting 3/19/2013

written by hurting

I almost ended my life after my drama performance.
I was stage manager, so I wasn’t an actor, like all of my friends. Already I was alone.
All I heard at the lunch table was how much fun it was, and how I should join drama. In it, no one talked to me, and I felt alone all the time. I felt abandoned.

Now these same friends say that I can talk to them about anything. But, in class they rarly talk to me, and I feel alone. I have SAD, and I need my friends now. They are seniors, and are leaving next year, and […]

3/19/2013 3 comments