I’ve seen so many people, visited so many hospitals, tried so many rx combos, gotten so many different diagnoses and just none of it honestly helps and there is very little tethering me to this planet anymore and I just wish it could be in my hands to decide to let go. No matter where I go or what people say to me to convince me otherwise, I’m left feeling like a stranger on the fringes everywhere I go. I’m alone. I’m deeply unhappy no matter how much I try to change it. And I try so hard
to start: I’m an alphabet soup of disorders. Three of those are bipolar, borderline tendencies (whatever the hell that means), and Asperger syndrome.
My closest support is my partner who is also financially tied to me. And I even feel her slipping through my fingers and this turning into an uncomfortable situation where we only live together because we can’t afford to live without any kind of plan which we currently don’t have and can’t foresee.
I mean. I can easily leave in a month’s time because my mother passed this June and has apparently left me a hefty inheritance. But my partner can’t. She is on […]
I’m trapped. I desperately want to die but doing so would leave my partner in a terrible position financially and as such could lose her daughter and her dog. My mother recently passed and has left me her entire estate in her will. I have been struggling against these feelings for so long and do not want to live another day. I have massive amounts of Seroquel and other rx drugs for the taking and I just want to take a walk to the woods tonight with a case of beer and down as many of them as I can. If I provided a written […]