screwdriver. i like a phillips screwdriver. gets u fucked. star shaped for star children.
i dont do wodka straight unless i must. too many rough nights in 2013 shootin straight wodkuh. tonight imma enjoy this. it may very well be my last night. (: seriously i get intensely impulsive. i mever drink for the taste like a *****. i drink to get clobbered hammered and shit n pissfaced like a true alcoholic. drink drink drunk
glug glug glug me hearties
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYX8XMFsXmQ
adagio for strings is the shit.
dj tiesto is duh shiz.
brno philharmonic orchestra is THE shytz.
mix that all together and you get the shitz of all shytakki mushroomz in one elegant masterpiece of fluffy cloud evanescence. <– not entirely sure what that is but the words sound really great together (:
hahaha. So let me explain or digress rather. This deaf guy walked by and he had a sign on his laptop bag bravely strung around his neck that read: speak up and speak clearly to my face please, I am hard of hearing. Where the fuck did that expression come from. I’m hard of hearing? I’m hard FROM hearing. I’m hard TO hear. I’m hard BY hearing. What the fuck is hard of hearing. Doesn’t even make sense. This language man. And my own personal joke that nobody else but Hjertsblomst will get: Fuck norwegians. It’s killz by the way. I felt you may not […]
eu te amo tanto. gostosa
They die or metastasize in the soul. It all depends. We either foster these gender roles that are completely and utterly wrong and bullshit and hold to ideals that were past down from lesser ideologies. I think that goes for suicide as well. If someone really and truly wants to die then who is somebody to tell them otherwise. We may offer an alternate choice and our personal salvation but it is totally up to that soul to accept or reject and continue following their own path. We have such deep belief systems either rooted in religion or even the general societal attitude towards death […]
I need new people with a fresh perspective in my life specifically to do with transgender issues. I’m so headfucked over this obviously it’s almost driving me to suicide once again. I’m in a dead end in Victoria with nothing but despair and self hatred. No money (which is fine), no friends (cool), no dreams (the kicker). All my dreams died with my old self dying. I don’t want anything anymore. I don’t care about anything anymore. The only person I care about I have intense love hate cycles towards and she knows this. So every little thing she does triggers rage attacks.
I want to […]
If anybody is out there and struggling with transgender or knows somebody battling these feelings and the intense inner turmoil that comes with this: please give me a shout.
hang_u_lang @ hotmail . com
I’m ready to do something extreme. I’ve never felt this degree of panic or anxiety or intense death. Holy fuck.
I met up with my little brother in Victoria today. Fuckin’ cool meeting of the great minds. He’s been goin through some intense changes himself but im glad to see he’s pushing through and making necessary changes. Such a beautifully intense conversation about our current transformations. I’m finally embracing my trans identity and confronting and riding the emotions head on. Such a beautiful freedom. Scary as fuck as I fight my inner judgments and christian past. Fuck it. I feel it, I’m going to do it. Transgender is a fuckin’ gorgeous thing. Such a heavy burden to bear if filled with self hate and fear. […]
Dedicate this to the cruel game called Love.
Fuck love and all its cuntery.
http://youtu.be/cncoJB_C-m0
Original song by Chris Isaak
I like this guy’s voice better though.
http://youtu.be/ROijMfjbC_w
Letting go sucks. But sometimes it’s gotta be done to make room for the new. It’s super tough though. </3
From the womb you latched onto my fucking consciousness and never let me go. You injected your venom into my veins and attracted all my perpetrators and literal traitors from friends to the origin of my seed. You incited the deepest betrayal anyone could ever feel – most of all you inspired a betrayal and rejection of myself. Princess Dyana you are no princess to me. In fact you are a whore. A whore that sucked me dry before I breathed my first breath. I will never forgive you or let you go until you apologize for the eternal torment you caused my aching heart. […]
I am that I am. I am the epitome of potential. I am possibility incarnate. A wildest dream made manifest. I am living breathing destiny. I am a shooting star that has crash landed in this body. I am Smaug’s hidden treasure. The arcenstone has nothing on me. A legend in the making. A diamond with no need to bluff. Nebula’s for eyes that encapsulate a universe of unlimited infinitum. A gift of sardius stone blessed with third eye sight to peer into the great beyond. Angel wings to lift me above my woes and worries. I am the result of an infallible thought. Created […]
Burn It All
Went to a live concert last night. Pretty good show. The frontman really knows how to put on a show. Not bad at all. When I get to that point I’m going to blow people away. See, when I go to shows it’s selfish. I go only so that I can visualize myself on the same stage seeing myself doing the same things better. Seeing what things I like regarding lighting and acoustics and even the performance. I pick up […]
Fuck I feel stuck. It’s a shit feeling after escaping this town for a little while. I’m pretty confused after the NAET treatment. I’m confused in general. trying to keep my spirits up but it’s tough when you’re grieving and processing so many emotions simultaneously. Losing my twin was tough. Part of me hates her because she really fucked with my life hard. Adding tons of gender dysphoria and a sense of never being able to be me. I’m still as confused as ever about that but she did a number on me. I try to keep my head up. I know certain emotions pass […]
why are all my comments going straight to moderation?
tell me who i am
tell me what i’ve become
tell me why i can’t overcome
tell me how all of this came to be
does dressing in a white lab coat make you a god
are you the savior i’ve never had
forlorn paths marked by a tear of desperation
i know no power greater than mine
and yet i wasn’t strong enough
let the tide wash in and sweep this all away
name a celestial power and i’ll show you an empty shell
a maverick of sorts
sighs are heard around the world as people pass from this world to the next
when will it be mine
when
im falling and you can’t catch me
not this time
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