In 3rd grade, I was told by my doctor that I had anxieties. I was going home from school everyday sick to my stomach due to my constant worrying. My father hadn’t contacted me in awhile and it was the first thing that had me worried so bad at a young age. I was making myself really sick and I’d have panic attacks. As I got older, I struggled with more teenage problems. My anxieties were at an ultimate high. I’m sixteen years old and can barely drive a car because I get worried about everything I’m doing and I have a panic attack and […]
My boyfriend talks a lot of shit about my mom. I hate it. Yeah sometimes I’ll complain when she doesn’t let me go do something, but I get over it. I love my mom more than anything, I probably would’ve killed myself that time I was about to attempt it, but then I remembered my mom. My mom is everything to me, and I hate the fact that my boyfriend talks so much shit about her. I’ve told him to stop but he doesn’t. I don’t think it’s okay for him to do that. I tell him that if I wanted his opinion I would’ve […]
My boyfriend sings me You Are My Sunshine every night before I go to sleep. Â And he’s tone deaf. But it’s that simple thing, that small gesture, that makes me feel a little better about myself. I know I’m not near as bad as I used to be, I haven’t had one of my episodes in a few weeks. I really just feel like I need to make the better of situations, I need to stop being negative and holding onto the past. Maybe it was my fault I’ve been this way? In some ways it was, and in other ways, it wasn’t.
I haven’t thought […]
She put the knife to her soul
She needs a sweet release
She needs somebody
She digs in deep, revealing all her secrets
She knows her time was wasted
She put the pills in her mouth
She let’s death sit on her tongue
She needs some love
She needs to breathe
She drives at a tree
She wants realization to come at her at once
She hates feeling worthless
She hates the dreadful feeling of guilt
She wants the light to overwhelm her body
She wants to be taken away
She is hit by it all
She is gone
She was wrong
She just needed […]
My boyfriend and I just got in a fight. Beginning because I wouldn’t send him pictures. He got mad because I sent ONE to a kid over a year ago, as I went through my freshman slut phase. I told him it was a mistake and not to talk about. But he kept dwelling on it. I started crying because this is what it causing my pain again. People bringing up the old me and bashing on me. He kept asking why I was crying and I just kept telling him he wouldn’t understand. Finally, I reminded him of my depression, which he then reminded […]
I know I may not have the perfect ski slope nose…the perfectly proportioned body. My feet are far too big for my body. I lack hips. I have a big nose. I have braces. I have creepishly long fingers. I have no waist line. I’m short. I KNOW THIS. And I just..I know, okay? I don’t need anyone to point out my flaws. I know what they are. I hate when people point them out. I hate when people complain about something that I know is a flaw of mine. It makes me feel embarrassed. I just want to curl up and die because while […]
I really thought the bullying had ended…I really did. I thought everyone made mistakes. so why does everyone dwell on that? Tell me I’m nasty…that I’m a whore, slut, and worst..nothing. It’s one thing to call someone a slut or *****…but to tell someone they’re nothing..Sorry I guess you didn’t know I already knew about that. JUST when I was starting to get better. I hadn’t self-harmed in over 2 weeks. I deleted my Instagram, I’m refusing to get on Twitter. Lucky I still get on Facebook, which is only to talk to my dad who doesn’t live with me. Social networks weren’t made to […]